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Woman Hits Boyfriend With Toilet Seat

By Wyatt Earp | July 15, 2008

Okay, this may be the most bizarre headline I have ever written.

How do you know true love? When you wipe off the seat before you use it to assault your boyfriend. God, I love this country!

JULY 14–Meet Kimberlee Ann Cole and Joel Goldsmith. The Florida woman, 18, allegedly assaulted her boyfriend with a toilet seat after finding him smoking crack in a bathroom of their home Friday afternoon.

Cole told cops she battered Goldsmith, 24, after he “refused to give her the drugs,” according to an arrest affidavit prepared by Fort Pierce police. Goldsmith “refused to stop smoking the drugs and Ms. Cole hit [him] with the toilet seat,” the affidavit notes.

As the couple–parents to an eight-month-old boy–scuffled in the bathroom, Goldsmith dropped a cocaine rock in the shower and Cole tried to wash it down the drain. (H/TThe Smoking Gun via Mope)

That’s a really crappy thing to do, in my opinion. Heh. You must click on the link to see the mug shots. They’re fabulous!

Topics: The Job | 16 Comments »

16 Responses to “Woman Hits Boyfriend With Toilet Seat”

  1. RT says:

    Yay! White trash love!

    I feel bad for the eight month old who now has a crappy life ahead of him. If she was so intent on not being around crack, she should have left him. Oh, there I go trying to be logical, again.

  2. The guy? – flush his ass!

    The girl – Any good attorney can get her exonerated of all charges.

  3. Mope says:

    Now that is an asshat!

  4. Ky Person says:

    Sigh. I work with a man who is a foster parent. This couple are well behaved compared with some of the ones he’s told me about. And still the judges turn a blind eye.

  5. stacy says:

    She looks like she’d belt him again in a heartbeat. He looks like he deserves it.

  6. Wyatt Earp says:

    RT – Silly rabbit. You know logic never works with these people.

    P.D. – Agreed on both counts.

    Mope – Literally!

    Ky person – Of course they do. In my experience, judges are all the same: useless.

    Stacy – Yep. You’re probably correct.

  7. Doghouse says:

    Toilet seat, crack … the joke potential is endless!

  8. Mope says:

    Aw, Doghouse, that’s a dirty crack.

    Oh well, he did tell her to lift the seat…

  9. Deanna says:

    I’m curious… was the seat bolted on before she jerked it off and whacked him with it?

  10. leoni2 says:

    Oh well, he did tell her to lift the seat…

    But I don’t think he was expecting it to end up on top of his head, Mope.

  11. Jason says:

    Give her a medal for beating his dumb ass for hitting the rock. We need more responsible women like her.

  12. Wyatt Earp says:

    Doghouse – The comedy just writes itself!

    Mope – Heh, heh, “dirty crack.”

    Deanna – If so, that’s one strong gal!

    Leoni2 – Probably not. Well, lesson learned.

    Jason – Agreed.

  13. just testing:

    =))

    \m/

    :) )

    :-B