True Detective Stories
By Wyatt Earp | July 4, 2008
Sometimes, it pays to be working on a holiday.
The following story is absolutely true. I don’t have the imagination to make something like this up.
An officer in our division receives a radio call for a Disturbance Highway. The officer arrives at the location and meets the complainant, an older woman. The woman tells the officer her version of what happened during the disturbance, and the officer writes it down verbatim on the report.
The report reads as follows:
The complainant states an unknown offender was throwing cats at her residence.
Yeah, you read that right. Someone was allegedly throwing cats at her home. And the amazing part was that the officer actually took this psycho seriously. He wrote the report, submitted it, and had the wontons to bring it up to us. When he told us the story – and after we stopped laughing – the officer asked, “Would you guys get this? I mean, is it a vandalism?”
Is it a vandalism? The officer was serious. God, I love this job!
Topics: True Detective Stories | 8 Comments »
July 4th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
Now, if it had been cats and dogs….
July 5th, 2008 at 1:44 am
RT – Yeah, apparently it only rains cats in North Philly. We couldn’t believe the officer actually wrote up the report. He should have said, “Radio, this is unfounded. The complainant is a 302 (mental case).”
July 5th, 2008 at 4:13 am
Makes for a memorable holiday.
July 5th, 2008 at 9:20 am
Why do I suddenly have the urge to build a cat launcher?
July 5th, 2008 at 10:26 am
Maybe he mis-heard her. Probably was bats.
Because that makes so much more sense, you know?
July 5th, 2008 at 11:41 am
I bet it was rats, their easier to throw.
July 5th, 2008 at 11:56 am
Whoops my mistake I meant they’re easier to throw and they are because of the long skinny tails. I just got up so my brain is not functioning yet give me till noon or so.
July 5th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
Admiral – Once in a while a job like this comes out. This is why my book will never sell as non-fiction. Who would believe this stuff?
Marvin – Mayor Adam West can loan you his!
Dorkelina – At least throwing bats would be slightly easier to accomplish.
Momster – Yeah, I guess you can swing them by their tails and launch them like a slingshot.