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Peter Kirsanow Is A Genius

By Wyatt Earp | June 29, 2011

He’s a writer at National Review Online, and yesterday, he hit one out of the park.

John Bolton Is Wrong: Attacking Libya Was the Smart Thing to Do

. . . because, among other things, it’s consistent with the War Powers Act, which is constitutional on the third Tuesday of every month but not when applied to kinetic military actions that look a lot like wars, especially when you’re leading from behind against Muammar Qaddafi, who’s a tyrant responsible for a number of man-caused disasters, unlike the ophthalmologist who’s reforming Syria with tanks and flamethrowers that don’t destroy nearly as many jobs as the ATMs located in Las Vegas, where nobody should go to blow a bunch of cash when saving for college, except Joe Biden, who nobody messes with and is a big f*****g deal because he liberated Auschwitz with Patton during an overseas contingency operation that was the boldest decision by any president who hasn’t healed the planet or lowered the missile-defense shields in Eastern Europe so that the Russians will pressure the Iranians to hit the reset button on their nuclear-weapons program and make peace with the Israelis, since no one else will as long as they unreasonably insist on maintaining their existence and building shovel-ready projects in Jerusalem without the use of stimulus money that has proven time and again to keep unemployment rates below 8 percent whenever a Republican drives his car into a ditch while sitting in the back seat sipping a Slurpee and working on his tan like a typical white person whose house is surrounded by a moat with alligators to keep out people who do the jobs Americans won’t do because at some point they’ve made enough money to act as stupidly as the Cambridge police or someone who smuggles AK-47s to Mexican drug cartels in an effort to win the future, just like MacArthur did when Emperor Hirohito came down and surrendered to him at the end of World Time-Limited Scope-Limited Military Action II — which everybody agrees was George Bush’s fault.

Foreign policy without a teleprompter is hard.

Brilliant and funny. I wish I could pull that off once in a while.

Topics: Politics | 9 Comments »

9 Responses to “Peter Kirsanow Is A Genius”

  1. Jon Brooks Says:
    June 29th, 2011 at 9:12 am

    Rushing to PK’s side with oxygen bottle…Breathe man breathe!!

    Wow! Not only is that out of the park but he must have made the top of obambi’s enemies list with that one, I’m jealous.

    Wallace: I swore no allegience to Longshanks

    Inquisitor: It does not matter he is your king.

  2. realwest Says:
    June 29th, 2011 at 10:25 am

    Hey Wyatt – you COULD pull that off once in a while, but you’d have to forget or deliberately NOT use any punctuation.
    Just kiddin’ – it was screamingly funny and I coulda used those oxygen bottles with which Jon Brooks was rushing to PK’s side.
    Woof – that’s too long a read when it’s SO FUNNY!!

  3. hutch1200 Says:
    June 29th, 2011 at 10:36 am

    I could write like that. Of course the profanity would melt a screen when dealing w/this Prez-dent!

  4. Loaded Dice in Vegas Says:
    June 29th, 2011 at 11:09 am

    Bloody Brilliant……………..Folks we’re in deep doo doo….

  5. Bob G. Says:
    June 29th, 2011 at 12:25 pm

    Not one thing wrong with being SO very right…!

    (and I wouldn’t recommend reading the source story with any liquid in one’s mouth, unless you LIKE a soggy keyboard – yes, it’s THAT good)

    And btw, Wyatt…you ARE that right, and most ALL the damn time.


    Roll safe

  6. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 29th, 2011 at 12:27 pm

    Jon – Yeah, he really has the stream-of-consciousness thing down.

    Real – It’s one of the most entertaining things I’ve read in a while.

    Hutch1200 – And spell-check never approves the bad words.

    LDIV – That’s why we need to escape from this tool in 2012.

    Bob G. – Not always. Remember when I recommended New Coke?

  7. John D Says:
    June 29th, 2011 at 12:32 pm

    The game always looks easier from the bleachers, doesn’t it? But don’t worry, Andrew Cuomo will ride into town on a white horse to save us in 2016. If the NY press can be believed (a big if).

  8. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 29th, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    John D. – Yeah, he already locked up the ghey vote.

  9. Jon Brooks Says:
    June 29th, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    Just recieved an e-mail from a retired friend about a sign in a yard down in Atlanta it reads:

    If you voted for Obama in 2008 to prove you weren’t a racist, you’d better vote for somebody else in 2012
    to prove your not an idiot!

    Just thought I’d share:)