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NYPD Stops Cyclist For Wearing Short Skirt

By Wyatt Earp | June 14, 2011

Does the NYPD have nothing better to do on a warm, spring day?

A leggy blonde was pulled over by a police officer in the Big Apple for cycling too sexily. The unidentified officer said her skirt was so short it could cause an accident.

The ‘culprit’ was Dutch tourist Jasmijn Rijcken who said the incident happened on May 3. Miss Rijcken was wearing a short frilly, grey skirt and short light brown boots at the time. She recalled: “He said it’s very disturbing, and it’s distracting the cars and it’s dangerous. I thought he was joking around but he got angry and asked me for ID.”

The officer was a male? Are you friggin’ kidding me? I could see if it was a female cop – you could explain that away with jealousy – but a man? Dude, the only reason you stop someone who looks like that is to compliment her on her ensemble!

Topics: Babes | 21 Comments »

21 Responses to “NYPD Stops Cyclist For Wearing Short Skirt”

  1. Dr. Evil Says:
    June 14th, 2011 at 7:07 am

    I’m a need more pictures please to come to a fair verdict in this possible Hein-ey-Ass crime against mankind.

    Couldn’t she in turn slap the bored Big Apple Baconeer with some sort of voyeurism complaint????

    Also Wyatt, please tell me you’ll have a blog post on the facebook hitman. Sheer brilliance.

  2. Dannytheman Says:
    June 14th, 2011 at 7:23 am

    Was the officer GAY? I mean who wouldn’t want more woman riding their bikes along the streets dressed like that? I hope his fellow officers serve him up a nice blanket party.

  3. Dustyvet Says:
    June 14th, 2011 at 7:30 am

    This the city…

  4. Dustyvet Says:
    June 14th, 2011 at 7:35 am

    Stan Frebergs’s ‘ST. GEORGE AND THE DRAGONET’ (1953)
    (Many thanks to Jennifer Pope for transcribing this classic parody and sending it in!)

    St. George speaks in a very good Joe Friday monotone; the maiden and knave both have high-pitched, somewhat grating voices; the dragon talks like your typical ‘Dragnet’ heavy. The music is exactly the same as that used on the radio shows.

    ‘Dragnet’ theme music

    Announcer: The legend you are about to hear is true. Only the needle should be changed to protect the record.

    ‘Dragnet’ opening music

    St. George (voiceover): This is the countryside. My name is St. George. I’m a knight. Saturday July 10th, 8:05pm. I was working out of the castle on the night watch when a call came in from the chief. A dragon had been devouring maidens. Homicide. My job – slay ‘im.

    ‘Dragnet’ opening music

    St. George: You call me, chief?

    Chief: Yes, the dragon again, devouring maidens. The king’s daughter may be next.

    St. George: Mm hmm. You got a lead?

    Chief: Oh, nothing much to go on. Say, did you take that .45 automatic into the lab to have ‘em check on it?

    St. George: Yeah. You were right.

    Chief: I was right?

    St. George: Yeah. It was a gun.

    dramatic music

    St. George (voiceover): 8:22pm, I talked to one of the maidens who had almost been devoured.

    knocking, door opening

    St. George: Can I talk to you ma’am?

    Maiden: Who are you?

    St. George: I’m St. George, ma’am. Homicide, ma’am. I wanna’ ask you a few questions, ma’am. I understand you were almost devoured by the ma’am, is that right, dragon?

    Maiden: It was terrible. He breathed fire on me. He burned me, already.

    St. George: How can I be sure of that, ma’am?

    Maiden: Believe me, I got it straight from the dragon’s mouth.

    dramatic music

    St. George (voiceover): 11:45pm, I rode over the king’s highway. I saw a man. Stopped to talk to him.

    St. George: Pardon me sir, could I talk to you for just a minute, sir?

    Man: Sure, I don’t mind.

    St. George: What do you do for a living?

    Man: I’m a knave.

    St. George: Didn’t I pick you up on a 903 last year for stealing tarts?

    Man: Yeah. So wha’dya wanna’ make a federal case out of it?

    St George: No sir. We heard there was a dragon operating in this neighborhood. We just want to know if you’ve seen him.

    Man: Sure, I seen him.

    St. George: Mm hmm. Could you describe him for me?

    Man: What’s to describe? You see one dragon you’ve seen ‘em all.

    St. George: Would you try and remember sir, just for the record? We just want to get the facts, sir.

    Man: Well, he was, you know, he had orange polka dots…

    St. George: Yes, sir.

    Man: Purple feet, breathing fire and smoke…

    St. George: Mm hmm.

    Man: …and one big bloodshot eye right in the middle of his forehead, and, uh, like that.

    St. George: Notice anything unusual about him?

    Man: No, he was just your run of the mill dragon, you know.

    St. George: Mm hmm. Yes sir, you can go now.

    Man: Hey hey, by the way, how’re you gonna’ catch ‘em?

    St. George: I thought you’d never ask. A dragon net.

    dramatic music

    St. George (voiceover): 3:05pm, I was riding back into the courtyard to make my report to the lab. Then it happened.

    ominous music, dragon roaring

    St. George (voiceover): It was the dragon.

    Dragon: Haaay, I’m de’ fire breathin’ dragon. You must be St. George, right?

    St. George: Yes sir.

    Dragon: I see you got one ‘a them new .45 caliber swords.

    St. George: That’s about the size of it.

    Dragon: (laughing nastily) You slay me!

    St. George: That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.

    Dragon: Wha’dya mean?

    St. George: I’m taking you in on a 502. You figure it out.

    Dragon: What’s the charge?

    St. George: Devouring maidens out of season.

    Dragon: Out ‘a season?? You’ll never pin that rap on me!! Do you hear me, *cop*?!!

    St. George: Yeah. I hear ya’. I got you on a 412, too.

    Dragon (shouting): A 412??!! What’s a 412???!!!

    St. George: Overacting. Let’s go.

    ‘Dragnet’ trial music

    Narrator: On September the 5th the dragon was tried and convicted. His fire was put out, and his maiden devouring license revoked. Maiden devouring out of season is punishable by a term of not less than 50 or more than 300 years.

    ‘Dragnet’ end music

  5. Lergnom Says:
    June 14th, 2011 at 8:09 am

    I’ve seen shorter than that commuting on Spring Garden. It makes the ride bearable.
    Stay safe

  6. GroovyVic Says:
    June 14th, 2011 at 8:15 am

    She should have been arrested for that entire outfit. Bleh!

  7. Bluwall Says:
    June 14th, 2011 at 8:46 am

    Me thinks her story doesn’t pass the smell test.

  8. DocRambo Says:
    June 14th, 2011 at 9:37 am

    Must be a new fashion thing for girls–on the way into the hospital on Sunday, I noticed four college girls riding in skirts–one quite frilly and blowing in the wind revealing her interesting thong. Ate my airbag, and now the electric company has to replace a pole….Just kidding, it was the highlight of my afternoon.

  9. Sally Anne Says:
    June 14th, 2011 at 10:17 am

    As a fashion police officer, I would cite her for the red socks. The rest of the outfit passes.

  10. PapaMAS Says:
    June 14th, 2011 at 11:22 am

    Totally weird, in this day and age, UNLESS he was going to ask her out.

  11. Robert B. Says:
    June 14th, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    Just a case of patrolling while gay. He was probably jealous of all the guys looking at her and not him.

  12. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    June 14th, 2011 at 1:01 pm

    Hard to believe that drivers stop texting long enough to notice a girl in a skirt on a bike. * ahem *

  13. GroovyVic Says:
    June 14th, 2011 at 1:12 pm

    Oh, but those boots have to go. And that jacket with that skirt? Talk about mixing seasons. I think I had that same jacket in the early 90′s when I was in college.

  14. BlackOrchid Says:
    June 14th, 2011 at 1:47 pm

    I think she looks AWESOME! love the outfit!

    what is this officer’s name? somehow I would guess Mohammed, Rashim, Ali, etc.

    they seem to all have a giant bug up their butts about poor scandi women

  15. Fenway_Nation Says:
    June 14th, 2011 at 2:04 pm

    As a fashion police officer, I would cite her for the red socks

  16. joated Says:
    June 14th, 2011 at 3:50 pm

    I admit, I would have stopped her and asked for ID, too. But get mad at her? Never! (Unless she turned down my request for a date.)

  17. Sean D Sorrentino Says:
    June 14th, 2011 at 5:11 pm

    This is why I can’t be a cop

    Me: Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you for ID

    HotDutchBabeCyclist: Here’s my Passport

    Me: I see that you are 31. What is the name of your husband or boyfriend?

    HDBC:I am single, officer.

    Me: Ma’am, I am sorry to say that it is a serious crime in NYC to be that attractive. I am going to have to ask you to come with me down to the station. What is your current address?

    HDBC: Huh? you mean the hotel?

    Me: Yes ma’am

    HDBC: This Hilton, room 562

    Me: Shall I pick you up at 8pm? We can have dinner and go dancing before I take you to the station.


    Me: No need to dress up, what you are wearing is fine.

    HDBC: Officer, please stop drooling on me.

  18. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 14th, 2011 at 11:23 pm

    Dr. Evil – Didn’t hear about that. Sounds awesome, though.

    Danny – Gay? No. Just “dedicated.”

    Dustyvet – Nice!

    Lergnom – Damn, I gotta start taking public transportation.

    GroovyVic – Me-ow!!!

    Bluwall – Only if she wasn’t wearing knickers.

    Doc – Heh, heh, “pole.”

    Sally Anne – Great, now I have to photoshop your face onto that pic!

    PapaMAS – And that’s the only reason to stop her.

    Robert B. – During the investigation, four gang bangers walked by, armed to the teeth.

    Mrs. Crankipants – Oh stop. You arrived to Wyattpalooza safe and sound!

    GroovyVic – It’s called “retro.”

    Orchid – I think she looks great, too. Don’t understand the stop at all.

    Fenway – CAKE! Oh, and GAME 7!!!!!

    Joated – Agreed.

    Sean – Yeah, she is perfectly dressed for a night on the town . . . and on the bed.

  19. jackie chiles Says:
    June 15th, 2011 at 12:26 am

    She wasn’t wearing a bra as a top was she?

  20. Skip Says:
    June 15th, 2011 at 2:11 am

    Was having lunch with a SDPD cop on the beach patrol.
    He was shaking his head and I ask him wassup. He said he just followed a gorgeous blond chick in a bikini twirling her top on her finger for a block and a half. No complaint, no ticket.
    All I wanted to know was, “So John, was she headed this way?”.

  21. Bob G. Says:
    June 15th, 2011 at 10:55 am

    Hey, if the skirt were longer, it’d get caught in the spokes or chain…and that’s DANGEROUS!

    Her (imho appropriate) attire is PURELY a SAFETY PRECAUTION on the part of this fine example of a Dutch tourist.

    This is going to spoil her feelings about AMERICA, no doubt.


    Good post and some damn fine comments!

    Roll safe, gang.