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Candice Swanepoel: Ugly Duckling

By Wyatt Earp | May 25, 2011

I like stories like this one because it makes my female readers’ heads explode.

“Victoria’s Secret” supermodel Candice Swanepoel earns millions modeling for the lingerie giant, even earning a place on this year’s top ten Forbes list for the highest-paid supermodels. But it wasn’t so long ago that the 22-year-old considered herself far too unattractive for a career in front of the lens.

“For a very long time I was really, really skinny – I was like that for most of my life,” Swanepoel told FOX411’s Pop Tarts column at the Victoria’s Secret “What is Sexy?” launch in Los Angeles last week. “And it wasn’t until I was 17 that I started getting curves… I had braces, the whole lot. I was an ugly swan before.”

See ladies? You just don’t understand how difficult it was for her to rise up from ugliness to become a supermodel! She’s had a hard life, dontcha know?

Topics: Babes | 21 Comments »

21 Responses to “Candice Swanepoel: Ugly Duckling”

  1. RogerDee Says:
    May 25th, 2011 at 7:04 am

    Cue Ms. Crankipants in 3…2…1..

  2. GroovyVic Says:
    May 25th, 2011 at 7:12 am

    She needs to shut up and eat a goddamn sandwich.

  3. Jon Brooks Says:
    May 25th, 2011 at 7:21 am

    She is one of the agents of the deadly new threat facing the earth today, Global Wanking. Along with the afore mentioned activities such as increased breathing rate, more CO2 is thus pumped into the air for a net increase of half of the earth’s populations carbon footprint. With maybe the exception of the men in Afghanistan who would want to kill her of course.

    I propose we study her and her effects more closely
    to get a firm grip on this overly developed situation.
    I will have her moved to my secret labratory at 555 Rutting Lane, Pokatela Idaho to asses the dangers more closely.

    Just doing us all a favor thats all.

  4. Dannytheman Says:
    May 25th, 2011 at 7:35 am

    She’s has risen from being ugly to being the masturbatory fantasy of millions any a young boys. (And occasionally older men) Don’t hate ladies.

  5. Ranba Ral Says:
    May 25th, 2011 at 7:48 am

    There’s a girl I went to school with who was similar, so it happens. The guys called her The Troll, because of her frizzy hair, and were always giving me grief because she was crushing on me from about 6th grade on. I think it was because I was one of the few people who was nice to her, since I look about like someone cloned a neanderthal.

    Ran into her about a year ago and didn’t recognize her, and my mind was blown. All I can say is that if I had known then what I know now…and none of the guys believed me when I told them, heh.

  6. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    May 25th, 2011 at 8:48 am

    “I was an ugly swan before.”
    * yawn *
    All the models for Victoria’s Secret are contractually obligated to say that. It’s in chapter three of their employee handbook – “What To Say in an Interview”.

    By the way, what the hell did she have for lunch? A deep breath?!

  7. andycanuck Says:
    May 25th, 2011 at 8:51 am

    Is “ducking” a typo?

  8. andycanuck Says:
    May 25th, 2011 at 8:52 am

    Oops. “duckling”

  9. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    May 25th, 2011 at 9:24 am

    I think she’d be an amazing friend. Imagine walking down the street with her skinny ass, people are tossing Big Macs, cupcakes, and Olive Garden gift certificates at her. Of course, Candice has no interest in any of that stuff – but I do!

  10. Ferrell Gummitt Says:
    May 25th, 2011 at 9:36 am

    Is her name translated in English mean “Swine Pole”?

    She kind looks like a young, thin Cameron Diaz.

    Here is my plug for my babe Rachel Griffiths from the just cancelled ABC Series “Brothers & Sisters” she may not be up to the standards of this blog’s babes but I think she is hot anyway. Oh, she is also in her 40′s.

  11. Ferrell Gummitt Says:
    May 25th, 2011 at 9:45 am

    Okay, here we go.

  12. GroovyVic Says:
    May 25th, 2011 at 12:38 pm

    Oh hell, with the right bra my tits are jacked up too.

  13. Wyatt Earp Says:
    May 25th, 2011 at 1:44 pm

    Roger – She’s getting her duct tape as we speak.

    GroovyVic – Or at least some M&M’s.

    Jon – You truly are an American hero.

    Danny – . . .

    Ranba – Take your shot! Maybe she’ll give you a pity feel. (Ah sweet pity, where would my love life be without it?)

    Mrs. Crankipants – And the timeless, “I just want a normal guy who makes me laugh.”

    Andy – She’s a “ducking” idiot.

    Mrs. Crankipants – You owe me a new keyboard!

    Ferrell – Me likey. I’m in!

    GroovyVic – Pics or it didn’t happen!

  14. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    May 25th, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    I’m pretty sure that Candice’s thighs have never formally met.

  15. Wyatt Earp Says:
    May 25th, 2011 at 1:59 pm

    Mrs. Crankipants – If they’d like to meet a no-talent local blogger, I’m available for thigh signings.

  16. Kim Says:
    May 25th, 2011 at 10:48 pm

    It’s amazing what technology can do.

    Not that I want to confuse lust with facts or anything.

  17. Wyatt Earp Says:
    May 25th, 2011 at 11:13 pm

    Kim – Why must you always tinkle in my Corn Flakes?

  18. Kim Says:
    May 25th, 2011 at 11:34 pm

    It’s a natural talent of mine? Here, have some granola instead. I just made it yesterday.

  19. Smite A. Hippie Says:
    May 25th, 2011 at 11:50 pm

    Yeah I’m gonna have to second Wyatt’s comments, GroovyVic. B-)

  20. Chris C Says:
    May 26th, 2011 at 1:27 am

    I wouldn’t throw supermodels out of bed for eating crackers but yet at the same time I am concerned that they will yak them up a minute later.

    It is a conundrum. My cross to bear.

  21. Sorta Blogless Sunday Pinup » Pirate's Cove Says:
    May 29th, 2011 at 9:37 am

    [...] Support Your Local Gunfighter has Miss World Hopefull. And an ugly duckling(?). [...]