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Ladies, I Give You The Emergency Bra

By Wyatt Earp | September 25, 2010

No, this is not something designed for Anne Hathaway. It is, however, the first item in a long line of survival lingerie. If this sells, look out; the catastrophe catsuit may be next!

So girls, are you interested?

Caught in a disaster? You’d better hope you’re wearing the Emergency Bra. Simply unsnap the bright red bra, separate the cups, and slip it over your head — one cup for you, and one for your friend. Dr. Elena Bodnar won an Ignoble Award for the invention last year, an annual tribute to scientific research that on the surface seems goofy but is often surprisingly practical.

“The goal of any emergency respiratory device is to achieve tight fixation and full coverage. Luckily, the wonderful design of the bra is already in the shape of a face mask and so with the addition of a few design features, the Emergency Bra enhances the efficiency of minimizing contaminated bypass air flow,” explains the eBra website.

According to a report on tech news site CNET, there are plans for a “counterpart device for men” in the works, though the precise shape it will take has yet to be revealed.

Awesome! Now I’ll finally have a legitimate reason to wear a jock strap on my face!

Topics: Coolness! | 11 Comments »

11 Responses to “Ladies, I Give You The Emergency Bra”

  1. Robert B. Says:
    September 25th, 2010 at 8:17 am

    Who would want to put a jock strap on his face after wearing on…. err… nevermind.

  2. Jon Brooks Says:
    September 25th, 2010 at 8:29 am

    Oh great. Imagine this scenario, you respond to an emergency with lots of smoke or a chemical spill, whatever, and rushing towards you are panicking topless women with bra cups on their face and chasing them are pantless men with jock straps on their face. Not a pretty sight. Then to top it off an Easter island faced officer wanders up to you and without a word stops and points at your crotch.

  3. John D Says:
    September 25th, 2010 at 9:09 am

    Wow, so now I guess the one-handed bra unhooking technique will become a part of first responder training.

  4. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    September 25th, 2010 at 9:42 am

    This is news? Oh please, my old boyfriend was spearheading that research years ago.

  5. Crankipants Says:
    September 25th, 2010 at 9:46 am

    In my own experimentation, I find that panti-liners make a more effective gas mask.

  6. Kim Says:
    September 25th, 2010 at 10:19 am

    Panti-liners as gas masks? I wonder if it works just as well with ? Dare I experiment?

    As for the bra, I have one question. What if a woman has a big mouth, but is rather small-chested?

  7. Rick Says:
    September 25th, 2010 at 10:50 am

    Think how many lives Dolly Parton’s bra could save.

  8. ajdshootist Says:
    September 25th, 2010 at 12:19 pm

    I take it you have made shore the wife has a couple of those Bra’s.

  9. proof Says:
    September 25th, 2010 at 5:23 pm

    Ah, Wyatt! I was all over that (so to speak) a year ago. Not to mention my extensive research into bulletproof and solar powered bras!

  10. proof Says:
    September 25th, 2010 at 5:28 pm

    And don’t overlook the fact that with two cups, in a catastrophe, she can share with a friend!

  11. Wyatt Earp Says:
    September 25th, 2010 at 9:47 pm

    Robert B – Quit while you’re behind.

    Jon – Okay, you owe me a new keyboard

    John D – That was my major in college.

    Mrs. Crankipants – Not sure, but I think that is TMI.

    Crankipants – Or the occasional bustier.

    Kim – Or vice-versa?

    Rick – The entire Duggard family!

    Ajdshootist – Why? What do I care if . . . Oh, I’ve said too much. Heh.

    Proof – Or double-down on her protection.