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Philly Rape Story Has Lots Of Stupid

By Wyatt Earp | August 31, 2010

There are hundreds of stories about stupid criminals here at SYLG, but this is the first in a while where the stupidity saturated every facet of the tale. This criminal is the king of kings when it comes to teh stupid.

Don’t believe me? Just read this excerpt from the news story:

A man who attacked a woman waiting for a bus Sunday night left his pants at the scene and ran barefoot through Chinatown after the assault was interrupted. Detectives found a faded Mexican driver’s license in the pants, but they could not say whether the license was genuine and whether the photo depicted the attacker.

The 22-year-old victim, who was on her way home from work, told police she was pulled into the subway entrance at 8th and Race Streets and sexually assaulted about 9:30 p.m. Sunday. The woman was treated at a hospital and released.

The subway entrance is across the street from police headquarters. A passerby who saw the assault was unsure if the woman was being attacked, but he still called 911, Darby said.

So this jackass decides to rape a woman right across the street from Philadelphia Police Headquarters. That’s stupid enough. Then he flees the scene without his pants, because you know, that wouldn’t draw attention. On top of that, this douche leaves his ID (presumably) in said pants for detectives to find.

When I heard this call last night, the first thing I thought of was, “God the media is gonna savage us for not seeing a rape outside Police HQ.” And they would be right to do so. Thankfully, this guy made sure his dumbassery grabbed all the headlines.

Topics: Philly, The Job | 20 Comments »

20 Responses to “Philly Rape Story Has Lots Of Stupid”

  1. John D Says:
    August 31st, 2010 at 9:05 am

    Mexican driver’s license? Yeah, I’m sure he was in the country legally.

    Undocumented immigrants: Committing the moronic crimes even America’s dumbest criminals aren’t stupid enough to commit.

  2. metoo Says:
    August 31st, 2010 at 9:33 am

    You can buy new pants but stupid is forever. I do enjoy your tales of “Morons R Us”.

  3. Ferrell Gummitt Says:
    August 31st, 2010 at 9:45 am

    Now wait. Remember who’s President here. Isn’t a more likely scenario from this that the Philadelphia Police Department could be targeted by left hand Moonbat crony Eric Holder on a Racial Profiling charge? The guy was here from Mexico and all he wanted to do was get it on with an American Woman and you are denying his rights because he is of Hispanic origin and the PPD must have gone after him because of his brown skin.

  4. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    August 31st, 2010 at 9:48 am

    I hope he was smart enough to wear clean underwear.

  5. Robbie Says:
    August 31st, 2010 at 10:20 am

    I’m sure his victim doesn’t find it funny.

  6. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    August 31st, 2010 at 10:54 am

    I didn’t think it was funny, I was being sarcastic. I think the amount of crime committed by people who have no legal right to be in this country is obscene, and yet we allow them to come right on in.

  7. Loaded Dice in Vegas Says:
    August 31st, 2010 at 11:22 am

    “Crime makes you stupid”……..David Simon, author of “Homicide-A Year on the Killing Streets”.

    “Thank God they’re not smart”……30 year blue shirt……..

  8. Robbie Says:
    August 31st, 2010 at 11:59 am

    I didn’t mean that directly to you Mrs. Crankipants – I get your sassy sarcasim :) It’s just a sensitive subject with me and I was on call Sunday night through my voluteer work I do about the assault on Sunday night – I just wanted to note that’s not really a joking matter. I apologize.

  9. metoo Says:
    August 31st, 2010 at 12:11 pm

    I don’t believe anyone would find assault and rape a joking matter that reads this blog. But since we have offended sensibilities I’m out of here. I’m going to go stand on the corner and sing “Give peace a chance”.

  10. Robbie Says:
    August 31st, 2010 at 12:20 pm

    Oh Holy Crap – that’s not what I meant either ! And I didn’t say anyone hear would find it a joking matter – I’m just gonna shut up now. I’m sorry again. I’m leaving, comment away peeps.

  11. Wyatt Earp Says:
    August 31st, 2010 at 12:29 pm

    Guys, I am the one who needs to apologize – especially to Robbie. For those who are not familiar with her blog, she has a reason to be very sensitive to this subject. I thought of her before I posted this, but I felt it was more important to get this tool’s information – and possible photo – out there so we can catch him more quickly.

    I know my commenters. No one here thinks rape is funny. The fact that this asshole left his wallet in his pants is a delicious sort of shaudenfreude, but no one thinks rape is funny.


  12. Robbie Says:
    August 31st, 2010 at 12:35 pm

    Wyatt: No need to apologize. It is important to get his picture out to the public so it doesn’t happen to another unsuspecting woman. I didn’t mean to imply that your readers think rape is funny. I shouldn’t have touched the comment board with a 10 foot pole – but I’m not always the brightest bulb :(

  13. Robert B. Says:
    August 31st, 2010 at 1:02 pm

    I doubt that I am the only regular commenter here that thinks we should bring back the death penalty for forcible rape. I hope by posting the mexican’s drivers license he is quickly brought to justice. I do hope that the I.C.E. doesn’t practice its usual “catch and release” program on him.

    BTW, before I get accused of being a racist, I have worked on several projects around the world with Mexican nationals. The ones I have know are gentlemen and ladies all, and I am proud to call them friends. Once you get past the gauntlet of the border towns and into the mountains in central Mexico, the people are of a different calibre.

  14. Sully Says:
    August 31st, 2010 at 5:17 pm

    I’m calling Whoopie…. I still don’t know if it was rape or rape rape.

  15. bob (either orr) Says:
    August 31st, 2010 at 5:23 pm

    Estados Unidos? That ID looks awfully suspicious, like it’s some kind of way to make people who know just enough Spanish to be dangerous think that this is a U.S. identification card.

  16. Bob G. Says:
    August 31st, 2010 at 6:30 pm

    Across from…the ROUNDHOUSE??
    You have got to be freaking kidding me, right?

    Scenes like that don’t give me a warm ‘n fuzzy ’bout Philly for some reason.

    Glad you caught him (like it was going to be that hard?)…!

    Styay safe.

  17. Rick Says:
    August 31st, 2010 at 6:34 pm

    It is a shame this scumbag can not be shot on sight.

  18. Wyatt Earp Says:
    August 31st, 2010 at 6:49 pm

    Bob G – Yep, right across the street. Nice, huh?

  19. proof Says:
    September 1st, 2010 at 11:33 am

    Just another guy doing the jobs Americans won’t do!

  20. Ingineer66 Says:
    September 1st, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    Proof that is what I was going to say.

    And Bob either orr that is the official name of Mexico, the United States of Mexico. They liked us so much back when they got independence from Spain they borrowed part of our name. Mexico has 31 States and one Federal District just like DC.