By Wyatt Earp | August 24, 2010
Science fiction, you say? No, not so much. A new method of crowd control, called a “laser,” is being tested in the Los Angeles County Jail. That’s right, everyone from Jay Mariotti to Lindsay Lohan can now receive an instant suntan, thanks to a breakthrough of Gene Roddenberry proportions.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the future . . . today!
Guards at the Los Angeles County jail complex in Castaic will start using a newfangled weapon that produces a deep burning sensation — which is not to be confused with a “warm fuzzy feeling” — in whomever it is aimed at.
The 7 1/2-foot-tall “Assault Intervention Device,” which sheriff’s deputies demonstrated Friday at the Pitchess Detention Center, emits an invisible beam that causes an unbearable sensation, reported the Daily News.
The energy traveling at the speed of light penetrates the skin up to 1/64 of an inch deep. No one can stand being in the beam’s path for more than about three seconds, Mike Booen of Raytheon told the Daily News.
If there is a downside to this, I don’t see it. What’s better is that this gets us one step closer to blasters. And really, everyone looks cool holding a blaster . . .