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New Spider-Man Actor Revealed

By Wyatt Earp | July 2, 2010

And he looks like he’s teh ghey. .

Little-known British actor Andrew Garfield will be the star of the next film based on web-slinging superhero “Spider-Man,” it was announced.

Garfield, 26, steps into the void vacated by Tobey Maguire, the star of the first three films in the franchise which have grossed nearly 2.5 billion dollars worldwide since 2002.

Lame. Ladies, any of you rushing out to see this guy wear spandex? Instead of some tool who looks like “Screech,” you probably want to see someone like this . . .


Topics: Snarkasm | 10 Comments »

10 Responses to “New Spider-Man Actor Revealed”

  1. Morgan Says:
    July 2nd, 2010 at 8:05 pm

    I will say it, Wyatt, I don’t know what to expect from this change in casting for Spider-Man 4. Tobey Maguire did well in the role, so it’ll be uphill for this new guy.

  2. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 2nd, 2010 at 8:12 pm

    Morgan – There are few bigger Spidey fans than I, but I was disappointed in the third film. Too many plots, too many enemies. Iron Man 2 almost succumbed to this trap, but I liked that one more. As with most trilogies, the second Spider-Man was the best.

    Without Maguire and Sam Raimi – someone else is directing the new film – I’ll be hard pressed to get excited for it. I hate it when another actor/actress takes over a role in the middle of the series.

  3. Robert B. Says:
    July 2nd, 2010 at 8:28 pm

    A pity the owners of “Downfall” won’t allow any more parodies of Hitler losing it in his bunker. I’ll bet someone could come up with an appropriate one.

    That said, after seeing this guy “revealed,” I can only wish they had kept him covered up. Not likely I’ll bother seeing this one.

    BTW Wyatt, I agree with your critique of the first three Spidey films, but I still wish they had gotten a prettier lady to play MJ. In the comics, she was a tall, thin knockout. Not a somewhat pudgy, bland looking woman, too old for the part,

  4. GroovyVic Says:
    July 2nd, 2010 at 9:56 pm

    More Statham, please!

  5. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 3rd, 2010 at 12:06 am

    Robert B – I like Kirsten Dunst, but I agree with your point. Someone like Deborah Ann Woll from HBO’s True Blood wouldn’t be a bad choice.

    GroovyVic – I like the guy in every movie he’s in. Transporter, Snatch, Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels . . .

  6. Glenn Mark Cassel AMH1(AW) USN Ret. Says:
    July 3rd, 2010 at 2:42 am

    Not so much teh ghey but a little lost sheep or something n that order

  7. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    July 3rd, 2010 at 8:03 am

    I don’t understand why they’d cast a 26 year old to play a high school student. However, he does look nerdy enough to have spent a decent amount of time on the inside of a locker. My other concern- how are they going to stuff all of that hair under the Spidey mask?

    Oh well, I guess none of that really matters when there’s a photo of Jason Statham without his shirt.

  8. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 3rd, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    Glenn – Definitely an easy mark for pickpockets and flim-flam artists.

    Mrs. Crankipants – Yeah, I figured I owed you one (or ten) after the bevy of beauties I usually post.

  9. Your Saturday Linkzilla! « The Daley Gator Says:
    July 3rd, 2010 at 5:21 pm

    [...] Wyatt Earp: Spider Man is TEH GHEY! [...]

  10. BobG Says:
    July 3rd, 2010 at 6:38 pm

    That dipshit is the new Spider-Man? At first I thought maybe that was Spider-Man’s new girlfriend…