Recent Posts

Recent Comments

Blogroll

Cop Land


« | Main | »

Asteroid Scheduled To Hit Earth!

By Wyatt Earp | July 29, 2010

Somebody call Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck! We’re doomed!

Actually, if an asteroid is going to strike the Earth, we might as well just give up and do what we always wanted to do. Me? I am going to quit my job and stalk Christina Hendricks full-time.

A GIANT asteroid could be on course to hit Earth causing massive devastation, space boffins revealed today. An international team including NASA experts warned a 560m wide space rock has been discovered heading this way.

If it did hit Earth it would blast a crater several miles wide and could devastate a city the size of London, wreaking death and destruction for hundreds of miles in every direction.

Anyone concerned by the warning has one thing to be thankful for — if it does hit it is most likely to happen in 2182.

2182? Why the hell would I care, then? I’ll be long since dead. Okay folks, you may now resume your regularly scheduled lives.

Topics: Snarkasm | 17 Comments »

17 Responses to “Asteroid Scheduled To Hit Earth!”

  1. Robert B. Says:
    July 29th, 2010 at 7:55 pm

    In 1998, while working in Saudi Arabia, I was grilled by one of the locals about the “Y2K bug” and were the computers used in our system compliant. So, with this {ahem} engineer watching, I ran each computer through a series of tests.

    After setting the system clock on a PC to Dec. 31, 1999 and watching it count over to Jan. 1, 2000 without a problem, the {ahem} engineer asked to see it do the same for 2001. Then 2002. as he was about to ask for 2003, I suggested to really see when it would fail. The result: 2199 was the last year the computer would function correctly.

    The {ahem} engineer asked me when the company was going to fix this problem. My reply?

    “Before Dec. 31, 2198.” He looked puzzled, then after a while, just smiled, and said, “Ok. I’ll be waiting.”

  2. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 29th, 2010 at 8:22 pm

    Robert B – I think that guy comes to the window of my division!

  3. Fenway_Nation Says:
    July 29th, 2010 at 8:22 pm

    I think I’d gladly welcome death’s sweet asteroid-induced embrace before any sort of Armageddon reunion….

  4. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 29th, 2010 at 8:26 pm

    Fenway – It is possibly my most-hated film of all time. Not one redeeming quality in that hunk of crap.

  5. Dixie Says:
    July 29th, 2010 at 8:47 pm

    Not one redeeming quality in that hunk of crap.

    Not even Liv Tyler?

  6. Smite A. Hippie Says:
    July 29th, 2010 at 10:27 pm

    yeah Liv Tyler definitely makes it worth it.

    I loved her and Alicia Silverstone in the “Crazy” music video too… talk about a wet dream! heh.

  7. Robert B. Says:
    July 29th, 2010 at 10:30 pm

    Wyatt, agreed. Too loud. Too hokey. And nevermind obeying the laws of physics.

    Dixie – I like the flag. Careful posting it on a Yankee blog though.

  8. Fenway_Nation Says:
    July 29th, 2010 at 10:38 pm

    I loved her and Alicia Silverstone in the “Crazy” music video too… talk about a wet dream!

    Yeah….but that was like a 5 minute music video versus 3 hours of my life that I’m never getting back

  9. Ingineer66 Says:
    July 29th, 2010 at 11:55 pm

    Ya I am with the crowd on this one. Liv Tyler schawwwingg. Who cares about all that physics crap, anyway.

  10. RogerDee Says:
    July 30th, 2010 at 7:24 am

    I DID like Bruce Willis shooting golf balls at the Greenpeace ship at the begenning of the movie.

  11. jimmyb Says:
    July 30th, 2010 at 7:52 am

    I can’t believe you didn’t post a picture of Christina after mentioning her, Wyatt.

    For shame…

  12. RogerDee Says:
    July 30th, 2010 at 10:01 am

    ….beginning…

  13. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 30th, 2010 at 11:47 am

    Dixie – Okay, one redeeming quality.

    Smite – She’s nice, but she’s no Scarlett Johansson.

    Robert B. – Dixie can post whatever he wants . . . as long as he remembers we Yankees won. Heh.

    Fenway – Three hours that felt like ten.

    Ingineer66 – Only nerds and scientists.

    Roger – Pretty good scene. Greenpeace blows.

    JimmyB – Rectified! Link up above.

  14. Dixie Says:
    July 30th, 2010 at 4:00 pm

    Dixie – I like the flag. Careful posting it on a Yankee blog though.

    What about singing “The Bonnie Blue Flag?” Will that upset the Yankees?

    Dixie can post whatever he wants . . . as long as he remembers we Yankees won. Heh.

    Careful now, or we’ll embargo alcohol exports. :P

  15. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 30th, 2010 at 10:21 pm

    Dixie – I hereby withdraw my previous comment! Now send whiskey!

  16. bob (either orr) Says:
    July 30th, 2010 at 10:27 pm

    What y’all don’t get is that the asteroid will land on the Shrine of Barack Hussein Obama, which will be build on a sand dune which marks the spot of the Deepwater Horizon explosion.

  17. Flying the flag… « A Dixie Carpetbagger Says:
    November 9th, 2010 at 9:26 am

    [...] – I like the flag. Careful posting it on a Yankee blog [...]