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U.S. Military: Knocked Up? Off To Jail!

By Wyatt Earp | December 21, 2009

Now this is what I call family planning!

A top US commander is threatening soldiers who fall pregnant on active service with jail.

Under the new policy, troops expecting a baby face court martial and a possible prison term – and so do the men who made them pregnant. And the rule applies to married couples at war together, who are expected to make sure their love lives do not interfere with duty.

Usual US Army policy is to send pregnant soldiers home from combat zones within 14 days. But Major General Anthony Cucolo, who runs US operations in northern Iraq, issued the new orders because he said he was losing too many women with critical skills. (H/TDaily Mail)

Well, there are two ways to combat this issue:

1. Sternly warn incoming soldiers of the consequences of this rule.
2. Sign on only ugly, homely women.

This would probably be difficult in the Israeli Defense Forces. I’m just sayin’.

Topics: The Troops | 17 Comments »

17 Responses to “U.S. Military: Knocked Up? Off To Jail!”

  1. JimB Says:
    December 21st, 2009 at 1:55 pm

    Looks like from now on he’s going to be loosing two troops instead of one.

  2. RobD Says:
    December 21st, 2009 at 1:55 pm

    HaHaHaHa, in my experience number 2 is the norm already and it don’t matter. Turn out the lights and it’s all the same.

  3. Ingineer66 Says:
    December 21st, 2009 at 2:10 pm

    Like RobD said there are very few beauty queens in the service. But after 3 months in Iraq, there are no ugly women.

  4. Bill Says:
    December 21st, 2009 at 2:33 pm

    Man… those IDF babes! I’m just sayin’.

  5. proof Says:
    December 21st, 2009 at 3:08 pm

    …expecting a baby face court martial…

    I’ll admit, this threw me for a second, trying to figure out what a “baby face court martial” might look like!

  6. metoo Says:
    December 21st, 2009 at 4:09 pm

    Totally unrelated but one of your hot babes just got engaged to a hockey player. Carrie Underwood and Mike Fisher.

  7. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    December 21st, 2009 at 4:18 pm

    Have you never been to the Walmart on Delaware Avenue? Definite proof that ugly women do get laid.

  8. Deanna Says:
    December 21st, 2009 at 4:47 pm

    So if they come home for leave and get pregnant and go back to active duty they can get in trouble? Whatever happened to maternity leave?

  9. Smite A. Hippie Says:
    December 21st, 2009 at 4:50 pm

    *homer* mmmmm…. IDF girls….

  10. Jason Says:
    December 21st, 2009 at 5:51 pm

    Going to the brig for being pregnant is an acceptable loss of resource but maternity leave isn’t?

    It sounds like “a top US Commander” is going to get schooled here. You cannot imprison women for getting pregnant. Even in the military.

    If this is such a problem then remove women from combat roles and make your force readiness plan with the folks you have left. Problem solved.

    It’s a war, not an affirmative actions hiring process.

  11. PhillipC Says:
    December 21st, 2009 at 9:07 pm

    I remember a conversation I had with a female Marine a number of years back when I was in college. Apparently if a woman on active duty got pregnant, it was considered a court-martial offense because they were causing a piece of Marine equipment, their body, to become unfit for service. It was on the same level as a soldier shooting himself in the foot to get out of active duty.

    I guess they haven’t been enforcing it all that much, but I know that this was over fifteen years ago that I had the conversation. Perhaps too many enlistees are using it as a way out?

  12. RT Says:
    December 21st, 2009 at 10:12 pm

    Kind of off topic: I was watching a show where members of the military stationed in Afghanistan were being interviewed. There was a husband and wife deployed together. They have missed three Christmases with their family. I believe they have four children.

    It made me sad. Now, what if they are together one night and she gets pregnant, because they are married and that stuff happens. They’ll kick her butt, but they risk their children not having two parents by deploying them together?

    Doesn’t the powers that be in the military have more important things to worry about?

  13. Bill R. Says:
    December 21st, 2009 at 11:03 pm

    It’s been my experience the military takes away their ugly papers just before leaving the CONUS. Women overseas become queens for a year. In a war zone, if she’s giving it away or selling it, there will be takers.

  14. Blarg the Destroyer Says:
    December 21st, 2009 at 11:33 pm

    Its about frakin’ time. Make those desert rats pay for this crap. Oh no, the shopette over here doesn’t carry my type of shampoo, off to whore out my cooch so I can get sent back home.

    To any jackass that thinks integrating male and females into a unit, you probably haven’t served with any.

  15. Cowboy Blob Says:
    December 21st, 2009 at 11:46 pm

    You think enlisting only ugly women will matter?

    Two words.

    Lindy England.

  16. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 22nd, 2009 at 12:42 pm

    JimB – Once in a while you find a fetus that is a crack shot.

    RobD – Sounds like my college years.

    Ingineer66 – It’s why I should go to Iraq. I would look almost non-troll-like compared to some of the natural citizens there.

    Bill – Fab-u-lous!

    Proof – Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men? He looks baby-faced.

    MeToo – Yep, it was this morning’s post.

    Mrs. Crankipants – Hey, I’m proof to the inverse!

    Deanna – I think ObamaCare is eliminating that in favor for free cancer screenings to felons.

    Smite – Good for what ails ya.

    Jason – Sadly nowadays, it’s both.

    PhillipC – And instead of shooting themselves in the foot, a guy is shooting . . . Well, never mind.

    RT – Like eliminating the Taliban? Yup.

    Bill R. – Same way in the PPD. If even a moderatley attractive female officer comes to a district, she rules the roost.

    Blarg – “Whore out my cooch.” That’s fantastic!

    Cowboy Blob – Blecch! Exception noted!

  17. Sally Anne Says:
    January 1st, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    I know it is way late but I am finally catching up on my blog reading and figured you would have blogged about this item.

    The military already punishes females who get pregnant, whether they enforced this or not was a joke to me- it was old news. There was a policy like it in place when I was downrange in 2003.

    Too bad most people don’t know just how crappy women have it in the military if they dare to make the choice to have a baby. I was hoping it would draw some more attention but now it’s all old news.