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True Detective Stories

By Wyatt Earp | December 11, 2009

detective-shield1Can you guess what I did to instigate this story? If you guessed “Answered the phone,” go to the head of the class. Here’s the conversation, exactly as they occurred.

Me: “Detective division, may I help you?”
Female: “Aisha speaking, how may I help you?”

(A puzzled look appears on my face, as Aisha called me, not the other way around.)

Me: “Um, this is the detective division. May I help you??”
Female: “This is Aisha, may I help you?

(Since this chick was obviously not a MENSA member, I saw an opportunity and took it.)

Me: “Yes, I’d like to order a cheeseburger and a large Coke.”
Female: “Um . . . sorry, you have the wrong number.” (Hangs up.)

Wyatt – 1. Aisha – 0.

Topics: True Detective Stories | 13 Comments »

13 Responses to “True Detective Stories”

  1. BillN Says:
    December 11th, 2009 at 4:07 pm

    You answered the phone again didn’t you? When are you gonna learn not to do that?

  2. Randal Graves Says:
    December 11th, 2009 at 4:24 pm

    I thought you would have went for a McDLT and large fries instead?

  3. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 11th, 2009 at 4:38 pm

    Bill N – Yeah, I’m a moron.

    Randal – No, I’m less fat now!

  4. Watuschski Says:
    December 11th, 2009 at 5:19 pm

    Chalk up another one for public education.

  5. USAdmiral Says:
    December 11th, 2009 at 5:34 pm

    Some people. I think we are reaching the end of the gene pool on some of the citizens in our inner city areas.

  6. Wagonsux Says:
    December 11th, 2009 at 6:41 pm

    Ha ha ha ha… Seems you fell for one of the ‘old ones’. Conference call two other numbers, but don’t tell them. Let them both answer the phone and listen to the hilarity.

    Of course it’s sophmoric, but sometimes it is very funny. Wyatt, I’ll bet you make some calls tomorrow.

  7. John D Says:
    December 11th, 2009 at 7:20 pm

    You should have asked her if her refrigerator is running. Or if she had Prince Albert in a can.

  8. Rick Says:
    December 11th, 2009 at 7:30 pm

    The moral of this story is DO NOT anwser the phone.

  9. RT Says:
    December 11th, 2009 at 10:07 pm


  10. Dennis Petty, aka MUD Says:
    December 12th, 2009 at 10:54 am

    How come I never think of the great answers at the time. After the fact I always have a great answer. Dang, I hate it when that happens. MUD

  11. dragonlady474 Says:
    December 12th, 2009 at 2:49 pm

    LOL! What a pinhead!

  12. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 12th, 2009 at 5:09 pm

    Watuschski – I’m sure his teachers didn’t have a lot to work with.

    USAdmiral – Shallow pool. No lifeguard is on duty.

    Wagonsux – Working on that as we speak.

    John D – The classics never go out of style.

    Rick – Well, otherwise the damned thing would ring all day.

    RT – To the nth degree.

    MUD – I felt exactly the same way. Too freakin’ slow.

    DL474 – And not in the good horror-film way.

  13. Clady Says:
    December 13th, 2009 at 1:41 pm

    That’s funny!