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Philly Has The Dumbest Criminals Around

By Wyatt Earp | December 4, 2009

Shutterbug SuspectIf this idiot was really smart, he would pull the trigger and help increase the country’s average IQ.

Pam sent me this story, and I just shook my head. First, this guy is typical of the felons we come into contact with at work. Second, the robbery happened in my division, and one of my lucky co-workers just landed the easiest job in recorded history.

I mean, come on guys, make us work a little for a warrant, will ya?

Philadelphia police are confident that a photo of a suspected robber taken on a stolen cell phone will lead them to an arrest.

Police say a 20-year-old woman was robbed of her purse Oct. 7 in the city’s Olney neighborhood. The purse had her cell phone inside.

The woman had programmed her phone so that it would automatically send photos taken on it to her home computer. Shortly after the robbery, she received a photo of a young man holding a large handgun to his head. She told police it was the same man who robbed her. (H/TBreitbart)

This, dear readers, is called “job security.”

Topics: Philly, The Job | 13 Comments »

13 Responses to “Philly Has The Dumbest Criminals Around”

  1. PhillipC Says:
    December 4th, 2009 at 8:17 am

    “The woman had programmed her phone so that it would automatically send photos taken on it to her home computer.”

    I’m sure she did that as a way of making it easier to keep all her pictures in a safe place, but that is a dang good idea. It’s amazing how many devices can communicate back to a home base now, just using the Internet. Photo cards, laptops, cell phones… the list goes on. Theft is getting more challenging.

  2. Veeshir Says:
    December 4th, 2009 at 8:46 am

    Great trigger discipline by that rocket surgeon, too bad it’s a BB gun.

  3. Wagonsux Says:
    December 4th, 2009 at 8:55 am

    Job security.

  4. proof Says:
    December 4th, 2009 at 9:48 am

    His finger is on the trigger. We’re just one good squeeze away from cleansing the gene pool!

  5. Thomas F Says:
    December 4th, 2009 at 10:52 am

    There is a story of a woman who lost her high end Apple laptop a coffee shop, who later used Apple’s Remote log-on to activate the laptops web-cam to find one of the coffee shop workers and two of his mope friends web browsing….

    There is also a SDHC memory chip that automatically uploads pictures thru hot spot wireless from your camera…..

  6. Tennessee Budd Says:
    December 4th, 2009 at 12:50 pm

    Yes, it does appear to be a BB gun. Of course, in this idiot’s case, that’s way too much weapon for the ol’ blowing-brains-out job.

  7. Jon Brooks Says:
    December 4th, 2009 at 2:29 pm

    BWAhahahaha!! I hope she and the PPD lets him keep the phone for use in jail, now she has her own personal Oz show, screw HBO.

  8. Eric Says:
    December 4th, 2009 at 3:55 pm

    I blame society. Surely this woman who was robbed must be racist. The boy with the gun is a good young man that was probably on his way to church and found the gun next to the phone on the ground.

    She should immediately drop all charges and refuse to testify against this “victim of the system”

  9. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 4th, 2009 at 6:20 pm

    PhillipC – And because of her great thinking, this toad is gonna get locked up. Beautiful.

    Veeshir- Shh! You’ll ruin his street cred!

    Wagonsux – Great, isn’t it?

    Proof – I wish.

    Thomas F – We get a lot of jobs where the complainants have Lojack for their computers. Good stuff.

    Tennessee Budd – A pea shooter should do the trick.

    Jon – Just need to get those low angles, though.

    Eric – Good point. Where’s Reverend Al when you need him?

  10. tjbbpgobIII Says:
    December 5th, 2009 at 1:04 am

    Lets hope he’s cornered in a dark alley at night and pulls that smokepole to shoot it out with the arresting officer.

  11. Crankipants Says:
    December 5th, 2009 at 8:01 am

    I just read that this genius turned himself in which is good, but he’s got himself a lawyer that is screaming from the mountains that his client is INNOCENT!!! Of course, he is! Rather than acting like Johnny Cochran, why can’t we all be adults? We got you red handed. Admit it. Hand over the phone. Fess us and give the charade a rest.

  12. kaveman Says:
    December 5th, 2009 at 11:30 am

    Poverty must be worse than I thought in Philly.

    He can’t even afford a real gun.

  13. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 5th, 2009 at 5:33 pm

    tjbbpgobIII – That would be awesome. Freebie!

    Crankipants – Especially in Philly. A confession will barely get you probation with our lenient judges.

    Kaveman – It’s hitting everyone hard. Even Obama supporters.