By Wyatt Earp | May 3, 2009
Why? Well, apparently, the University of Oregon frowns upon teams playing without pants and underwear. The nerve of them, trying to curtail the students’ right to free, um, nude speech!
What the hell is going on in Oregon? Does everyone out there have beaver ticks or something?
And before you ask, the man in the photo is not me. That being said, he is probably not covering up his junk because of modesty. he’s covering it up because he isn’t all that impressive, if you know what I mean.
Okay, I’ll admit it . . . it’s Sssteve.
PORTLAND, Ore. – In the world of intercollegiate Ultimate Frisbee, it’s ultimately not cool to go without pants. So said a student board that governs club sports at the University of Oregon when it ended a highly-ranked team’s season after five players shed their pants and underwear April 11 during sectional play at Oregon State University in Corvallis.
They played sans pants in Oregon . . . in April??? That’s hardcore. I can almost guarantee many of the players suffered from “shrinkage.”
The squad had already been on probation since November for serving alcohol to minors and making way too much noise at a party to end last season, resulting in fines and citations. Now the team, known as EGO (Eugene Gentlemen’s Organization) is crying foul.
“We put on the longest shirts we had,” pleaded player Kevin Minderhout. “We have some jerseys that are pretty long.”
Okay, I was with them until that comment. They sound like a bunch of wiseasses.
During the April 11 incident, one team went without shirts and five on the other side went without pants and underwear.
Someone complained. The club sports executive committee, a review board of five students, held a hearing Monday. Team members didn’t do themselves any favors by saying there was nothing wrong with playing without pants. ()
“Someone complained.” If my knowledge of bawdy college comedies serves me correctly, I’ll wager that the “someone” was the crusty old Dean.
Topics: Coolness! |