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Nuts To You!

By Wyatt Earp | January 26, 2009

peanutsWell, you just have to hand it to those Canadians: They sure know how to perpetuate a crime.

Of course, the man involved is not exactly Hannibal Lecter, but he may be a huge admirer of Jimmy Carter . . .

OTTAWA – A Canadian man has been charged with assault using peanut oil he allegedly smeared on a car door handle to make his allergic former fiancee ill, police said Friday.

Police in Burlington on the shores of Lake Ontario said the 49-year-old woman became sick after touching her car door handle and was treated for an allergic reaction to nuts at a nearby medical clinic.

She suffered no serious lasting effects. (H/T - )

Heh, heh, the woman is allergic to nuts. Maybe that’s why the engagement didn’t last?

Oh yeah, I’m going to Hell.

Topics: The Job |

5 Responses to “Nuts To You!”

  1. dorkelina Says:
    January 26th, 2009 at 7:13 am


    Burlington’s nowhere NEAR Ottawa! Peanut-oil assaults are federal crimes in Canada? Let’s hear it for the Mounties… They always get their oiled-up man.

  2. Doghouse Says:
    January 26th, 2009 at 10:25 am

    The comic potential for this is endless.

  3. USA_Admiral Says:
    January 26th, 2009 at 11:08 am

    She ought to be able to sue his nuts off now.

  4. Alan B Says:
    January 26th, 2009 at 2:12 pm

    Peanut allergy can kill. A different twist to the perfect murder…

  5. Wyatt Earp Says:
    January 27th, 2009 at 12:44 pm

    Dorkelina - I think you do a good job of getting an oiled-up man, too. BTW, where is Lazy Bones?

    Doghouse - Agreed. As are the chances for double entendre.

    Admiral - Heh, heh . . .

    Alan B - Remember the good old days when people used guns and knives?