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Michael Jackson Suffering From Fatal Illness

By Wyatt Earp | December 22, 2008


Who knew that pedophilia could kill you?

Michael Jackson is reportedly in desperate need of an emergency transplant operation to save his life from a rare lung condition, according to the author of a new biography of the singer.

Best-selling author Ian Halperin has completed a book about Jackson’s life, which claims that the pop icon, 50, suffers from Alpha-1 antitrypsin deficiency, a potentially fatal genetic illness, as well as emphysema and gastrointestinal bleeding.

“He’s had it for years, but it’s gotten worse,” Halperin told In Touch magazine. “He needs a lung transplant but may be too weak to go through with it … [But] it’s the [gastrointestinal] bleeding that is the most problematic part. It could kill him.”

Halperin also claims that the “Thriller” and “Bad” singer can barely speak and is 95-percent blind in his left eye. (H/T - FOXNews)

Jackson reportedly said that the only lung that was compatible was one taken from a “fresh, young boy.” Heh.

I don’t buy this for a minute. It’s always something with him. First, he has a “rare skin condition” that turns out to be a result of his dozens of plastic surgeries, and now this nonsense. Personally, I think this is just another lame attempt to garner attention.


Topics: Snarkasm |

13 Responses to “Michael Jackson Suffering From Fatal Illness”

  1. Kitty Says:
    December 22nd, 2008 at 10:58 am

    He must have seen this episode of House:
    Cuddy: Who ordered an alpha-1 antitrypsin deficiency test?

  2. John D Says:
    December 22nd, 2008 at 11:39 am

    Good post, Wyatt. You hit it right on the (prosthetic) nose.

  3. dragonlady474 Says:
    December 22nd, 2008 at 12:38 pm

    Ughhhh…I hate that guy! In my opinion he should be in a prison for the criminally insane.

  4. marvin Says:
    December 22nd, 2008 at 3:52 pm

    If this is true, then it is a wonderful Christmas Miracle. Unless he recovered or something.

    Even if he is somehow innocent of the pedophilia, he is still responsible for creating the modern pop ideal phenomenon, which by itself is worthy of this fate.

    Do you think I am becoming too harsh?

  5. Jon Says:
    December 22nd, 2008 at 4:12 pm

    Zed, I can be agent “M”!

  6. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 22nd, 2008 at 5:00 pm

    Kitty - He is definitely an Alpha-1.

    John D - Thank you, John’ll be here all week!

    DL474 - He’s much funnier this way, though.

    Marvin - Maybe a tad. I don’t want him dead, just in hiding.

    Jon - Ha! Great scene!

  7. CaptainAmerica Says:
    December 22nd, 2008 at 6:23 pm

    Did you just do a Michael Jackson post?


  8. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 22nd, 2008 at 8:57 pm

    Captain - You read it, so I must be doing something right.

    Hmm . . . should I mention that I get 5x the hits that you do? Nah, that would be cruel.

  9. Jeffro Says:
    December 22nd, 2008 at 9:50 pm

    Well, damn the luck.

    No, not really - bwaaah haaa haaa!

  10. USA_Admiral Says:
    December 23rd, 2008 at 7:14 am

    Call it Karma?

  11. Rick Says:
    December 23rd, 2008 at 1:43 pm

    I made the mistake of saying out loud. I hope the scumbag dies. Caught hell from my wife. If you can not say nothing nice. Do not say anything at all. To which I replied that was nice.

  12. B.C. Says:
    December 24th, 2008 at 7:18 am

    I guess Bubbles the Chimp must have been a bit rough on MJ’s colon to cause the recurring asstrointestinal bleeding. Michael should have stuck with spanking his monkey…

    Too bad he went from being a pretty damned good singer/dancer to a complete and utter fucking psychopath/pedophile.

  13. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 24th, 2008 at 5:06 pm

    Jeffro - Schadenfreude, table for one?

    Admiral - I thought that was Boy George?

    Rick - I tried to remain silent. that’s impossible for me, of course.

    B.C. - Nice vivid imagery with the colon. Gotta get the bleach now! :)