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Well, I’m Dead

By Wyatt Earp | July 9, 2008

Apparently, Bumblebee Man does not like my innards.

And yet, I’m only partially kidding.

So, a half hour ago, I was mowing the lawn. I figured I would so some much-needed yard work instead of walking today. Smart move, Einstein! As I was finishing up, I felt something on my leg. When I went to see what it was, I felt a crippling pain behind me knee that felt like someone stuck a stiletto into me.

For the next two minutes, I did my Daisy Dorkelina impersonation, and shouted more than a few “sentence enhancers.” The “F-Bomb” being the most prevalent.

I was stung by a bee, and it hurt like Hell. I forgot how much bee stings hurt, since I haven’t been nailed by one since college. I also forgot the sheer terror that goes along with a sting.

You see, I am allergic.

The last time I was stung, I wound up in the hospital after almost passing out in Sociology class. Not fun. I was sweating profusely and felt dizzy, and before you knew it, I was kissing floor. As I type this, I feel okay - except for the stabbing pain in my leg - and hopefully I’ll be fine. The stinger appears to be out, so it shouldn’t be a problem.

However, if you don’t see any new posts after my 6pm post (which I have already written), I’m probably seeing a doctor. Just so you know.

UPDATE: I must be delirious from the venom, because Barack Obama voted for the FISA Bill today, even after he swore he wouldn’t. I mean Obama wouldn’t flip-flop on something so important to his radical base, right?

Topics: Site News |

22 Responses to “Well, I’m Dead”

  1. becky Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 2:28 pm

    My hubby and my daughter have the allergies. Take some Benadryl and you should be fine.

  2. Momster Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 2:36 pm

    Enough about you , how is the bee? :-)

  3. USA_Admiral Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 2:39 pm

    Good thing you live near a fireman. He should be able to fix you right up.

    I guess the bee was a fatality?

  4. Kim Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 2:57 pm

    Lots of benadryl. Make a paste of baking soda and water to draw the venom out. (Garlic workes even better, but tends to burn some people.)

    Hubby carries an epi-pen and methylprednisone. It’s not fun.

  5. Randal Graves Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 3:06 pm

    heh, FAG.

  6. Ky Person Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 3:29 pm

    A couple of years ago, I had to have an MRI. The morning of the procedure, I was taking out the trash when a wasp stung me on the arm. Here’s what it looked like:

    So I hurt like hell, but I still had to have the MRI. I told the technician what had happened and he said: “that’s all right, I’ll just put the IV in the other arm”. So I came out with one arm swollen from the wasp and one bruised from the IV.

    BTW, I’ve heard meat tenderizer works well on stings.

    Damn wasp!

  7. Right Wing Nation » Blog Archive » Beating The Odds Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 3:58 pm

    [...] Wyatt was stung by a bee (unfortunately, he’s allergic). [...]

  8. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 4:07 pm

    Becky - I’m at work now, and my partner carries some in his briefcase. Taking it now, since I feel nauseous.

    Momster - Hopefully, he’s rotting in Bumblebee Hell!

    Admiral - Captain America??? I’m allergic, not insane!

    Kim - My father-in-law taped a penny to my wound. Said the copper should do the same job as the baking soda. We’ll see. Of course, he taped it so securely that it hurts like Hell when I walk.

    Randal - Guilty! Still hurts, too.

    Ky person - Yikes! Didn’t see what stung me . . . Hey, maybe it was a radioactive spider! Gotta go. Gonna see if I can climb the walls of my division.

  9. Kim Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 4:47 pm

    I thought you already climed walls and leaped tall buildings in a single bound? I’m disappointed.

  10. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 4:51 pm

    Kim - Oh, I do. I was just hoping for some web-slinging ability as well. Why simply be Superman when I can also be Spider-man?

  11. Randal Graves Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 5:22 pm

    “My father-in-law taped a penny to my wound.”

    your wound….dude, you were stung by a bee, not bitten by a King Cobra. Go finish the lawn.

  12. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 5:40 pm

    Randal - Lawn is D-U-N, done! I used “wound” because I was tired of writing “bee sting” a hundred times.

  13. -->Doghouse --> Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 5:45 pm

    So, honey-baked ham for dinner? Extra honey?

  14. Mike47 Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 5:47 pm

    If the nurse is hot, tell her you were wounded “in action”. She doesn’t need to know what the action was, and if she’s sympathetic (as opposed to just pathetic), you can die happy! Or not. Get well, I’d rather read your blog than your obituary.

  15. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 5:48 pm

    Doghouse - And HoneyComb cereal for breakfast!

    Mike47 - Yeah, the obit would be boring. Wyatt Earp, local boob, 1969-2008.

  16. Momster Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 6:52 pm

    The truth is the only thing that makes getting stung by a bee the least bit tolerable is knowing that in doing so the bee ripped out his own guts and died a horrible death.

  17. Sssteve Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 7:05 pm

    The more and more I hear Randal give you crap the more I like him!!

  18. CaptainAmerica Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 7:29 pm

    Dude lance it with a hot poker, carve an an X over the sting site and suck out the poison. I’m on my way over to laugh at you right now…
    Randall beat me to it!

  19. RT Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 10:32 pm

    Soooo…..praying for you this morning was good thing?

  20. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 10th, 2008 at 12:00 am

    Momster - We can only hope.

    Sssteve - Oh, go shave your back!

    Captain - If you weren’t too busy hiring someone to put in your a/c, you could have helped!

    RT - Oh sure. I didn’t die, so I guess that’s something.

  21. The Badger Says:
    July 10th, 2008 at 9:52 am

    Dude, It is a bee sting (Wound?…please.). Suck it up you Sissy Mary.

  22. Snigs Says:
    July 10th, 2008 at 3:16 pm

    Looks like you’ve lived. That, or you have an excellent imposter posing as you.

    Congrats on the continued living and breathing. :)