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The Most Bizarre Headline Of The Week

By Wyatt Earp | June 11, 2008

Mother Of Porn Star Robbery Suspects In Court

Yeah, they don’t come much more bizarre than that. I wonder if she is proud of her gay pr0nstar boys? I’ll bet she talks about them all the time. “Yeah, Taleon is “on top” of his field. he certainly is the “cream of the crop” in his industry.” *Vomit*

A woman whose twin sons were aspiring models and gay porn actors has been ordered to stand trial with them in the burglary of a Philadelphia business.

Keyontyli and Taleon Goffney of Pennsauken, N.J., were arrested Feb. 19 after authorities said they watched the 25-year-old twins break into a South Philadelphia beauty shop through the roof.

Authorities say the brothers are suspects in dozens of similar burglaries in New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Delaware. The intruders gained entry by hacking through the rooftops of the businesses.

Prosecutor Caroline Keating says the twins’ mother, Towana Goffney, was the lookout. On Tuesday, she was also ordered to stand trial. Her attorney, Jeremy Ibrahim, says Towana Goffney will plead not guilty. (CBS3)

Wow. I think this is the perfect investigation for Kommissar Wiggum’s new gay/lesbian/transgender unit.

Topics: The Job |

11 Responses to “The Most Bizarre Headline Of The Week”

  1. stacy Says:
    June 11th, 2008 at 4:41 pm

    Guess who gets my vote for mommy of the year? I just get the warm fuzzies all over thinking about her helping her boys in their careers and all. Oh wait, it was the heebie jeebies. Never mind.

  2. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 11th, 2008 at 4:57 pm

    Stacy - Only in Philadelphia. God, I love this town!

  3. USA_Admiral Says:
    June 11th, 2008 at 6:22 pm

    Unbelievable. They must be the topic of all her conversations.

  4. Miss Mud Puddle Says:
    June 11th, 2008 at 6:58 pm

    I am not one to judge, but am also a firm believer in that men should be having sex with women….and that people should stop robbing banks.

  5. RT Says:
    June 11th, 2008 at 7:33 pm

    One of those idiots lives in my town. Meh.

    “Hey, dude. What do you want to do with your life?”

    “I wanna star in gay porn movies.”

    “Geez, dude. You could of just said, ‘I wanna rock’ or something.”

  6. dragonlady474 Says:
    June 11th, 2008 at 7:36 pm

    I wonder if the one brother gave the other one a “leg up” on the roof? Sorry, I had to say it. lolol
    You just can’t make this stuff up.

  7. Assrot Says:
    June 11th, 2008 at 8:05 pm

    I thought porn stars made a lot of money especially the ones of the “Twinkle Toes, Light in the Loafers” variety. What’s with the multiple burglaries? Multiple buggery not exciting enough?

    I’m just sayin’…



  8. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 12th, 2008 at 1:43 am

    Admiral - Yeah, she talks about them all the time at the beauty salon.

    MMP - There you go using that Mississippi common sense again.

    RT - The least they could have done was star in hetero pr0n!

    DL474 - It almost writes itself!!!

    Joe - I guess their last check bounced? Or slipped out of their fingers from all of the Astro-Glide.

  9. -->Doghouse --> Says:
    June 12th, 2008 at 12:02 pm

    “Gimme all your money! Don’t make me use the hamster!”

  10. Miss Mud Puddle Says:
    June 12th, 2008 at 3:00 pm

    Wyatt, what is wrong with my common sense? Do men in other states not like to have sex with women? Or is it the bank robbing thing. Is that an issue? Do you gay men up North enjoy robbing banks?

    Doghouse - EWWWWWW……..GROSS!

  11. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 12th, 2008 at 4:47 pm

    Doghouse - Bawahahahahahahahaha!!!

    MMP - Hey, watch the “you gay men” stuff. I’m not gay! (Not that there’s anything wrong with that . . . )