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Rain Man

By Wyatt Earp | July 3, 2005

I hate Tony Stewart. No, really, I despise him. I hate him so much that I shop exclusively at Lowe’s for my home repair needs. The driver of the #20 Home Depot Chevy Monte Carlo is an arrogant ass . . . and now he’s winning! That really pisses me off.

Ya know what pisses me off even more? Rain delays during NASCAR races. Why they never implemented a system for running in the wet stuff is beyond me. Hell, F1 does it. Why can’t we? I turned on NBC last night, ready to enjoy the Pepsi 400 at Daytona, only to be serenaded by their God-awful broadcast team.(Wally Dallenbach is an idiot. Benny Parsons is not much better.) I couldn’t take more than five minutes of their blathering, so I went to my neighbor Denny’s house to watch Kill Bill, Volume 1.

After the movie, I came back home to watch the race finale. It was midnight, and there were still about 50 laps remaining! The first thing I hear (after seeing that Jeff Gordon hadn’t wrecked, thank God) was that Stewart was dominating the event. Yippee. Stewart wound up winning the race (at approximately 0200 EDT) after leading 151 of the 160 laps. Boring! It was his second win in as many races.

And I still hate his guts.

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