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"It Tastes Like Burning!"

By Wyatt Earp | July 19, 2005

(The author, at left, this morning.)

Oh, my aching head!

Last night, I spent some quality time with my neighbor Denny, a captain in the Philadelphia Fire Department. By “quality time,” I mean lots and lots of drinking at Jillian’s, a local restaurant/bar/pool hall. Yuengling Lager for him, Guinness Draught for me. As is usually the case when I go out, I spend more time blabbing and watching sports on the eight millions tv’s in the place than actually counting how many brews I had.

That’s a problem.

Here’s a bigger problem: Denny’s wife and kids are in Germany to visit her parents, and left him alone for two weeks. For some inane reason, Jillian’s had last call at midnight. I wanted to flash my badge and say, “Not happening!,” but thought better of it. So, Den convinced me to close another bar, “Chickie and Pete’s.”

Now it’s 2:30am. Chickie and Pete’s is closed, and Den gets the great idea to go to his house, sit on his back porch, and drink some more. By this time, I can’t tell a bad idea if it hit me in the face, so I agree. Unfortunately, Denny is fresh out of beer, and all he has left is Jack Daniel’s.


As my friends are so fond of reminding me, the last time I drank whiskey was at the Psychedelic Furs concert in April. Five shots later, I was incoherent. Five hours later, I was worshipping the porcelain god. Not fun. But, what the hell, I was up for more abuse last night. I kept it simple, and took three shots in three hours. At 5am, I stumbled home (two doors down).

Long story short, I woke up at 9am, and have been up ever since. I am sure I am still drunk (which would explain this incoherent rant), but I wanted to teach all the kids out there a life lesson: DON’T DRINK WHISKEY . . . EVER!!!

Thank you. Now, I’m gonna lie down for a spell.

Topics: Al-key-hol | 5 Comments »

5 Responses to “"It Tastes Like Burning!"”

  1. The Conservative UAW Guy Says:
    July 19th, 2005 at 4:44 pm

    I’d stick with tequilla. :)

  2. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 19th, 2005 at 8:09 pm

    I’m sorry to say, but I can’t hang. Especially with Tequilla. Vodka, yes. Rum, sure. Anything with a worm? Pass.

  3. Morris Says:
    July 19th, 2005 at 11:58 pm

    I only ever got roaring drunk once in my life, and I do mean ONCE!
    Was such a bad experience I swore I would never repeat it, and never have. Spewing body fluids at both ends like Old Faithful was no fun… I can look back and laugh now though.
    I do enjoy a drink now and then but keep it to a mild buzz.

  4. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 20th, 2005 at 8:01 am

    Morris – You are a wise sage, sir. But some of us are too dumb to learn from our mistakes.

  5. Peakah Says:
    July 20th, 2005 at 11:45 am

    sounded like a routine night to me…

    perhaps I should cut back a bit,

    Get too many old friends rolling through here in Vegas all year long to be able to cut back. It’s some competition thing we still have. Damn I’m an idiot!

    oh, man, will be back later…