It’s Talk Like Jack Bauer Day!
By Wyatt Earp | January 14, 2009
That’s right, kids! It’s the most wonderful day of the year! It is also your best chance to talk (and act) like Jack Bauer without all of the hassles of body counts, Senate hearings, and more moles than Cindy Crawford’s face.
Of course, not everyone can pull off TLJBD with ease. You need guts, fortitude, and a cell phone that can stay charged for 24 straight hours. You will need to pepper your speech with the word “Dammit,” show an evil, unnerving smile, and always carry at least two items that can be used to “extract information” from your co-workers.
Not sure if you can pull this of effectively? That’s okay, because my compatriots at Blogs4Bauer provided a handy, dandy, FAQ list HERE.
Here are some samples – courtesy of The Man – to help you through the day:
Co-worker: How was your weekend?
You: Dammit Bob, we don’t have time for simple questions!
Co-worker: I just asked about your weekend.
You: Dammit, who are you working for?!!
Co-worker: Never mind, forget I asked.
Co-worker: Hey man, did you already get breakfast?
You: I’ve killed 3 people today, and no, I’ve yet to eat breakfast, dammit!
Co-worker: Is that a threat?
You: That’s not a threat, that’s a fact.
Boss: Hey, where are the reports I asked for?
(Pull out stapler, move towards boss.)
You: I think the question you should be asking is how are you going to read the reports after I staple your eyelids to your desk!
See how easy it can be? Just remember the key components to TLJBD: Use a lot of Dammits!, yell out every conversation, and when in doubt, utilize excessive force. Have a great day . . . dammit!
Topics: 24, Blogs4Bauer | 11 Comments »
January 14th, 2009 at 7:20 am
Dammit! You call that a post? Boy, you’d better get a real post up ASAP before I kick you so hard you’ll have to unbutton your shirt to pee. DAMMIT!
Hey…this is fun, I think I could get into this. LOL
January 14th, 2009 at 7:59 am
DL474 – DAMMIT, I don’t have time for your comments right now! Who are you working for?!!!
January 14th, 2009 at 8:25 am
Copy that!
January 14th, 2009 at 10:24 am
When do I get to fight about who gets to claim finding the dead body?
Oh yeah, that was “Stand By Me”, my bad.
January 14th, 2009 at 10:37 am
my pregnant wife wanted vanilla ice cream early this morning, so i muttered a couple of “dammits”.
January 14th, 2009 at 10:59 am
Jack Baur playing ‘Bones” on Star Trek …..wait for it…
“Dammit Jim!!”
January 14th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Oh, Jack, you make me puuurrrrrr!
January 14th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Dammit, Marshall, who the hell is Jack Bauer?
January 14th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Mrs. Crankipants – Roger that!
Doghouse – Dammit, we don’t have time for incorrect films!
The Man – Dammit, that would warrant more than a few dammits!
Jon – Dammit, that was well played!
Deanna – Dammit, we don’t have time for your raging hormones!
Alan – Dammit, how do you not know who Jack Bauer is?!!!
January 14th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Dammit, didn’t Jack Bauer used to be a vampire?
January 15th, 2009 at 5:05 am
Dammit, sir, I’m English and, Dammit, I’m proud of it.
Dammit.
(Who is he, again? Dammit, why don’t you answer. Do you want me to glue your fingers to the keyboard with a blowtorch, Dammit)