A Few Thoughts About The Eagles
By Wyatt Earp | December 29, 2008
Donovan McNabb: Superfraud
Regular readers of SYLG know that I despise the Philadelphia Eagles with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns. So, it makes sense that yesterday’s drubbing of the Dallas Cowboys - who I also can’t stand - made me even more surly than usual.
But it’s not for the reasons you would expect.
As an uninterested party, I can say this with surety: Yesterday’s victory was the absolute worst thing that could happen to the Philadelphia Eagles. Here’s how I got there:
1. Head coach Andy Reid is one of the worst coaches in the league, but no one will admit it because his stats are pretty decent. A coach’s decisions are supposed to help the team win games. Reid’s decisions usually cost the Eagles victories. I have never seen a coach live so long off the spoils of a Super Bowl loss.
After such a miserable season - and an inexplicable tie - Fat Andy was almost certainly getting the axe. However, yesterday’s victory virtually guaranteed Reid five more years at the helm of this team, which means five more years of mediocrity. And that’s not good for anyone.
2. Rush Limbaugh was right: Donovan McNabb is overrated! How many times can a quarterback throw the ball at a receiver’s feet and get away with it? And the worst part is that this mental defective smiles when he does it. He always smiles, as if he is the QB of the Philadelphia ShortBussers. Stop smiling, you idiot: You’re losing the game!
Yesterday, during his patented once-a-year decent game, he was seen on the sidelines taunting the Cowboys and “flexing” his muscles for the cameras. Hey jackass, you slipped into the playoffs because the three other teams ahead of you shite the bed!
Again, like Reid, Donovan McNabb did just enough to stay in Philly for the next few years. Eagles fans should not be rejoicing in this.
3. Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie is completely clueless about the game of football. In fairness, he is at least honest about that fact. Unfortunately, he also believes that Andy Reid is a genius and should be given complete control of all football/personnel decisions.
How’s that working out for ya, Jeff?
The issue with Lurie is that while most owners would have fired Andy Reid and shipped McNabb off to Detroit years ago, Lurie smiles politely and beams about his team that just “made the playoffs.” Is that what it’s all about for him, just making the postseason?
For Philadelphia sports fans, that is exactly what it’s about. And as long as their team can get to the playoffs, they’re fat and happy. Even if they get blown out in the first round, they cheer and applaud like Pavlovian dogs, never asking for anything more. It’s sad, really.
And after yesterday’s backslide into the postseason, Eagles fans should prepare themselves for five more years of the same. Good luck with that . . .
In other football news, my Uncle Ray kicked the living crap out of me in our Yahoo! Fantasy Football championship yesterday. The fact that Justin Gage and Randy Moss combined for ZERO points for me is almost as infuriating as the fact that I benched the Eagles defense.
Ray’s team (The Stooges) spanked me by a score of 84-59, and if I didn’t mention it, he would give me Hell. So, congratulations you rotten rat fink!
Topics: Wyatt's Wisdom Nuggets |
December 29th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Agreed.
The reason the Eagles won was the defense and its efforts. Dawkins has been and will be the only recent reason that I even root for them.
McNabb’s antics bugged me. They always do.
However, it was very sweet to see the Aikman trance, of years past, totally evident in Romo’s eyes. Heh…well that and to see T.O. and the Jerry Jones without their usual arrogant smiles.
I might be an Eagles fan, but I’m a realistic one. They didn’t deserve to get into the playoffs, but for Dawkins and the other classy players on the team, I glad.
December 29th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
Wyatt:
I agree with you 100%. I can’t stand that fat arrogant dumb mofo always checking out the dinner menu in his hand.
December 29th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
Love the caption… “…When I nod my head, you kick it…”
December 29th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
Dude, your analysis is spot on. I’m more of a “rip the bandaid off quickly” gal and think that giving this town hopes for the playoffs only invites stupid comparisons to this years Phils. We all know they aren’t going to win the Super Bowl. Why get our hopes up?
December 29th, 2008 at 10:38 pm
Dude: #1 You’re right except Fat Andy may not have been getting the ax. Like you said Lurie is CLUELESS. I don’t think he was going anywhere. For sure not now. NO ONE IS HAPPY ABOUT THAT.
#2 Agreed.
#3 Not so fast. EVERYONE has been calling for Andy’s head and for Donovan’s ass for a couple YEARS at this point. But you don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. The playoffs are the playoffs. If they LOSE (probably will) there will be hell to pay.
Loyalty is one thing. But Philly fans can dish out quite a bit of wrath just ask any pro athlete who ever payed here. Remember we Booed Donovan FIRST!
December 30th, 2008 at 10:14 am
Actually only two teams (Chicago & Tampa Bay) shite their pants enough for us to capitalize.
However, you are correct and many of us true fans would agree with your analysis of Reid/McNabb but you’re only a true fan if you cheer, scream, yell, piss and moan and cry at the right times.
I imagine there is the same sort of blogs and conversations like this happening all over the NFL today.
I did not think that they would get into the playoffs either but they ARE so I will cheer them until its time to yell at them. I am happy that they beat the CowGirls and they sent them home with nothing. If we lose against Minnesota (doubtful) than I will still be a green-bleeding happy fan that we ruined Dallas’ chances to get into the post-season.
Love the site, keep up the good work!
Joel,
Behind The Mike Show
December 30th, 2008 at 11:20 am
Joel M - TB didn’t shite their pants, they took the Raiders lightly and got drilled.
Eagle fans everywhere are thanking the Raiders!
December 30th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
There is no way I am going to enter this maelstrom!
It would be like asking you guys to comment on the chances of Aston Villa ending up amongst the top 4 in the Premier Division (only far, far worse).
At least we will get to see the Superbowl live over here.
Who’s it going to be? Anyone like to stick their necks out??
December 30th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
RT - And there it is. McNabb tries to take the credit when the defense won that game. Not him.
AJ - Get used to him. He’ll be here a very long time.
Sully - Come here, numskull!
Trixie - That’s why they should re-tool now. Why wait for five more years of mediocrity and then re-tool?
Captain - “If they lose there will be hell to pay.”
Are you smoking crack? No there won’t. There never is. A few people will bitch and moan, and they’ll forget like they always do.
Joel - It’s great that they eliminated Dallas, but unless we can start doing that on a regular basis, what’s the point? Everyone in the East is getting better, and we still don’t have a REAL NFL running back, or a REAL NFL wide receiving core.
Until the Eagles address those issues - and an ever-aging defense - they won’t go anywhere fast.
Joaquin - Agreed. The Raiders came to spoil, and Tampa thought they’d win just by showing up.
Alan B - I think it’ll be Pittsburgh against the Carolina Panthers.
December 30th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
OK, I hear you Wyatt as far as a NFL Running Back goes; but I only agree because Westbrook spent some time hurt this year, but he still turned in 936 yards rushing.
As far as an NFL Wide Receiver…DeSean Jackson receives 912 yards in 62 receptions at almost 15 yards per…that sounds like a great rookie stat and a very nice start to getting a damn fine WR.
You are right about the aging defense, but they are still good and there is no one better that BDawk! And McNabb should realize that the Defense is what made Dallas an easy win.
December 30th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
Joel - Dawkins is a stud, but he’s getting older every day. Westbrook is nice, but he’d be better with some help back there. Buckhalter is a fraud, IMO. Jackson is very good, but after him . . . not a lot there. These are the positions that need to be addressed in the off-season, but with Fat Andy, they’ll probably look at a punter in the draft. Heh.
December 30th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Wyatt, my friend, you had to talk about that fake-arse punter…LOL. I’d like someone ..somewhere can answer why we EVER let Dirk Johnson go for that no-kicking jerk, Rocca…UGHHHHHH
December 30th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
Joel M - Is Max Runager still around?