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Ivy Leaguers: Not So Smart

By Wyatt Earp | March 30, 2011

Meet Rachel Anne Hachero.

The 17-year old Florida girl must be the pride of her high school. She’s pretty, she’s intelligent, and she now has an impressive criminal history.

Why, you ask? Because she really wanted her own car. She wanted one so badly that she pistol-whipped her mother before forcing her into the family truckster – at gunpoint. She then made mom drive to a Nissan dealership to co-sign for Rachel’s new car.

A 17-year-old girl was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, unlawful possession of a firearm and battery after deputies say she pulled a gun on her mother during an argument. Rachel Anne Hachero was upset because she wouldn’t co-sign on a vehicle purchase.

After pistol-whipping her mother, Hachero pointed the gun at her mother’s head and stomach and told her she was going with her to sign for the car. The mother told investigators Hachero ordered her mother into the vehicle and demanded she drive to the dealership to sign for the car or she would shoot her. Hachero and her mother then went to Sutherlin Nissan on South Tamiami Trail, where she had her mother sign for a 2004 black Nissan 350Z. She left the dealership in the vehicle.

Hold on, the money quote is coming right up.

The mother told investigators she did not want to press charges against Hachero, because she had recently been accepted to several Ivy League colleges. (H/TMrs. Crankipants)

Hachero was arrested by Sheriff’s deputies. She’ll be the smartest girl in D-Block.

Topics: The Job, WTF? | 15 Comments »

15 Responses to “Ivy Leaguers: Not So Smart”

  1. Old NFO Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 12:31 am

    Um… yeah, I’d want HER going to school with my kids… NOT!

  2. ed Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 2:16 am

    Oh come now…that’s just the sort of positive, “can do” attitude that we need in our youth.

    That girl’s got gumption, moxie, fire.

    In other words, she is full of WINNING!

    Off topic, I bring you offerings of a .

    When I saw her, I thought, “man, that’s got Wyatt written all over her.


  3. Robert B. Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 5:56 am

    I wonder if the parents (the story doesn’t mention the father, so I wonder where he is) ever taught the young lady the Ten Commandments did not include “Demand a hot ride from your mother and father.” Last time I checked, the Ten did include “Honor thy mother and father.” (Or something to that effect.)

    Hillary will say “The Village” failed in this child’s upbringing, and more taxpayers’ money should be spent to insure all spoiled brats have the 350Z of their choice.

  4. John D Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 7:05 am

    Sorry, but as a 17 year old girl, she has a constitutional right to a flashy car. This whole incident is mom’s fault for not buying her one. Chalk it up to bad parenting. I’m surprised the cops didn’t arrest mom for child neglect.

  5. Dannytheman Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 7:12 am

    Wow, just wow!

  6. Crankipants Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 7:41 am

    I’m used to it. Mrs Crankipants kneed me in the groin for a Freezee Pop and a large can of Bud Ice. That was just this morning.

  7. Jon Brooks Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 8:29 am

    Hmmm… S. Tamiami Trail that sounds like the Port Charlotte/Ft. Myers area where Ma and Pa Brooks retired to before they passed. Other than them, the people down there are pretty crazy and the summer heat is as bad as standing around in the sun in Texas, just add humidity.

  8. Wyatt Earp Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 8:40 am

    Old NFO – She is definitely Harvard material – just like our president.

    Ed – Wow. McDonald’s was never more sexy!

    Robert B – It really is for the children.

    John D – Chuck Schumer is having a conference call to address this situation as we speak.

    Danny – Quality human being, huh?

    Crankipants – And, like the rest of us married men, you got it for her . . . after using the Freezee Pop to ice your junk.

    Jon – What is it with Florida? All the psychopaths congregate there.

  9. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 8:50 am

    My advice? If she wants to drink a mocha frappe and eat a Cinnabon in the library, let her. I think she’ll do very well at Penn.

  10. Wyatt Earp Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 8:58 am

    Mrs. Crankipants – She can go into Criminal Justice, since she apparently knows a lot about the criminal mind.

  11. Bob G. Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 12:12 pm

    Didn’t know that PRINCETON was subsidizing criminals these days…


  12. Wyatt Earp Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 12:28 pm

    Bob G. – Go Tigers!

  13. Rick Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 2:18 pm

    Maybe if she goes to a Ivy league school she could meet and marry a Kennedy.

  14. Wyatt Earp Says:
    March 31st, 2011 at 8:04 am

    Rick – Yeah, they’re great drivers!

  15. bob (either orr) Says:
    March 31st, 2011 at 10:39 am

    Let’s hope, Wyatt, that Penn was not among the Ivies at which she was accepted.