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Getting Kicked In The Ice

By Wyatt Earp | February 6, 2009

<i>Vinnie, Fish, and I after last night's game.</i>

Vinnie, Fish, and I after last night's game.

There is a term in the American vernacular that goes like this: “We stink on ice.” In 22 years of playing ice hockey, I am sure I have had worse games, but last night may have been a top ten moment. Let’s recap the Hall of Shame performance, shall we?

1:00pm - I stop at the local rink to get my skates sharpened. They weren’t open until 3pm. Dammit!

8:45pm - An hour before game time, I stop at the rink to get my skates sharpened. Again. This time the pro shop is open, but there are three pairs of skates ahead of mine. Double dammit!

9:10pm - I race out of one rink to get to the rink where we play. It’s about a 30-minute ride from the local rink. Again, the game starts at 10pm. I make the trip in 19 minutes. Don’t ask.

10:00pm - After throwing my gear on, I get on the ice to stretch my terrible knees. After about 90 seconds, the over-officious jerks who were refereeing the game blow the whistle to begin. Swell.

10:20pm - At the end of the first period, we’ve already given up three goals. Triple dammit! I am skating better than I have been, but can’t seem to get any offense going. What else is new? Unfortunately, my linemates - Vinnie and Mike - aren’t playing that well, either.

10:45pm - We’re still losing, but at least we started scoring. And when I say “we,” I mean Randal and Jon. My line is still sucking a big, fat goose egg on the scoreboard. Frak.

11:20pm - Final score: 32 Degrees 7, Tony’s Place 5. My line had zero points, and I was a -4. For those of you who aren’t hockey buffs, I won’t explain +/- ratings. Suffice to say, it means I sucked.

It is getting to the point where I cannot see myself ever scoring again - on or off the ice. Heh. I gotta make some changes, and the first one is to stop taking 5-Hour Energy and switching back to Red Bull before the game. 5-Hour Energy is a damned jinx.

Topics: Ice Hockey |

7 Responses to “Getting Kicked In The Ice”

  1. RT Says:
    February 6th, 2009 at 9:27 pm

    I’m assuming the “pep” talks were pretty colorful.

  2. Randal Graves Says:
    February 7th, 2009 at 12:16 am

    It was a rather simple pep talk:

    “If you want to actually play to try to win, then do it. If not, you can go home.”

  3. Wyatt Earp Says:
    February 7th, 2009 at 12:45 am

    RT - See Randal’s comment. Dead on.

    Randal - Throwing your stick and helmet was a good touch, though. BTW, BSG was frakkin’ awesome this week!

  4. Right Wing Nation » Blog Archive » So Was Big Ben There? Says:
    February 7th, 2009 at 7:34 am

    [...] this picture of Wyatt in his Penn State gear, except that it’s funny (sympathies — he didn’t have a good game last night). The Icers play Delaware today — we lost 3-5 last night. Not good, guys. I forgot [...]

  5. USA_Admiral Says:
    February 7th, 2009 at 10:44 am

    It always get worse before it gets better. Ask the Detroit Lions.

  6. Alan B Says:
    February 7th, 2009 at 2:14 pm

    You think you’re doing badly …

    England are 30 for 7 against the Windies in Jamaica. They haven’t lost their first 6 wickets so quickly since the 19th century. They have to get 15 runs to equal their lowest Test score ever and more than double their score to make the Windies bat again.

    Latest score 37 for 7. Will we make it? At this stage only the statisticians care!

  7. Alan B Says:
    February 7th, 2009 at 2:43 pm


    51 for 9. They made it! Flintoff (bowled for 24) made almost half of them!

    Only Panesar and Harmison left. Bowlers don’t even bother to take their sweaters off for Panesar!

    Too late! All out for 51. Match lost by an innings and 23 runs. England’s batting declared worse than the Marshall’s ice hockey.