Gronk If You’re Horny

Rob Gronkowski Vegas BingeMeet Rob Gronkowski. Gronkowski is a tight end – heh – for the New England Patriots.

When Gronkowski isn’t dropping touchdown passes or wondering why his team couldn’t beat the Ravens, he spends his time in Vegas blowing his money on alcohol and hot pieces of arse…

Hmm, I knew I had a point here, but I suddenly don’t remember – or care – what it was.

Even for a seasoned party goer like NFL star Rob Gronkowski, this bar bill might come as a shock the morning after the night before. The New England Patriot receiver dropped an eye-watering $9,615 while celebrating Super Bowl Sunday last month at Las Vegas’ XS nightclub.

Gronkowski, 23, ran up a tab that included a $1,595 magnum bottle of Perrier-Jouet brut, three bottles of Grey Goose vodka and dozens of cans of Red Bull to keep the party going.

According to Deadspin, ‘the Gronk’ ran around shirtless and indulged in some raucous body-slamming with friends. However, the football player generously tipped his waitress $1,400.

Actually, at about 14% it’s generous, but not overly generous. Me? I don’t believe in tipping. I believe in overtipping.

11 thoughts on “Gronk If You’re Horny

  1. Vicki

    Well look, far better that someone like Gronkowski does what he does and hasn’t, you know, raped someone in the bathroom or smacked around his baby mama (Roethlisberger and Harrison, I’m looking at you).

    Or, you know, KILLED SOMEONE.

    Reply
  2. Jon Brooks

    He looks like he’s in his element rather than A Stranger In A Strange Land. I just tried gronking it tuned out more of a weak grink.

    Reply
  3. Veeshir

    Wut Vicki sed.

    I would say that’s a crappy tip. He used his handi-doody tip calculator and got 15%, if the waitress was any good she deserved 20% at least.

    If he and his hookers are having that good a time and aren’t running out of booze or food, she deserved 25% or more.

    But then, I overtip on any but bad service too.

    Reply
  4. Veeshir

    I take back what I said about him tipping, the tip was included, so they just added 15%.

    When I waited tables I never added that tip for large parties, I was a damn good waiter so people tipped me very well.

    The only time I didn’t get more than 20% for such a party was in Effin Utica, NY (If NY gets an enema, it goes in at Utica), but it was a 10% tip which was stellar in that armpit.
    I’d regularly have someone give me a dollar as they told me I was the best waiter they’d ever had.

    Reply
  5. Jim Scrummy

    Let’s see, young, single, handsome, “physical specimen”, and rich. Check, check, check, check, and check. What hawt piece of a, wouldn’t want to hang with the Gronk? Would I be doin’ what the Gronk did earlier this month in his shoes? Is the Pope Catholic? I’d love to be Gronk’s wingman (if I was 23 and single, again), because I would love to get his castoffs. Win-win!

    Okay, now back to reality for me.

    Reply
  6. Pingback: Round the Tubes: I Want To Shoot Monday Down | doubleplusundead

  7. Wyatt Earp Post author

    Vicki – Ray Lewis is a murderer, but not a convicted murderer, so the sports media – which is just as liberal at the MSM – may adore him.

    L Frame – Sadly, the article omitted them.

    Jon – I tried, but I pulled my gronk muscle.

    Veeshir – My mom was a waitress and my sister was one while working through nursing school. I am well-versed in the art of tipping, so I overtip. Except, as you said, when service is bad.

    Jim – His castoffs are probably better than my top notch chicks from high school.

    Sully – No argument there. The dropped TD comment was sarcasm. The guy is a player.

    Reply
  8. RogerDee

    Well, he IS in the midst of a 54 million dollar contract. I say, keep that Vegas economy perkin!!!!!!!!! I wonder how much coin he’ll have left when he’s 50??

    Reply
  9. taminator013

    Nice “My Blue Heaven” quote about overtipping. At least I hope that’s where you got it from. One of my favorite movies. What a day for a mow……………………………………

    Reply

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