Yavin Second Thoughts, Mayans?

Yavin IV

On Friday, the Mayan temples in Guatemala may be facing something more destructive than the Death Star. The apocalypse is nigh.

At the center of the rebel base where Luke Skywalker took off to destroy the Death Star and save his people from the clutches of Darth Vader, Guatemala is preparing for another momentous event: the end of an age for the Maya.

Deep inside the Guatemalan rainforest stand the ruins of the Maya temples that George Lucas used to film the planet Yavin 4 in the movie “Star Wars,” from where Skywalker and his sidekick Han Solo launched their attack on the Galactic Empire’s giant space station…

Okay, I’m gonna stop the article right there. What kind of mental defective, mouth-breathing douche canoe would describe Han Solo – easily tied with Boba Fett as the best character in the Star Wars universe – as Luke Skywalker’s “sidekick?” That would be akin to describing Michael Corleone as Fredo’s younger brother.

Cripes, Reuters, if you’re going to write an article with Star Wars references, find someone who knows the difference between a badass smuggler/pirate and a whiny little bitch.

8 thoughts on “Yavin Second Thoughts, Mayans?

  1. John D

    Chewie was Han’s sidekick. A sidekick can’t have a sidekick. Everyone knows this. Everyone, apparently, but the pop-culturally illiterate douche-wads at Reuters.

  2. Jim Scrummy

    Yeah, but that d-bag Lucas ruined Han when he said he didn’t shoot first. BS, Han sure the frak did Han shoot first (Lucas is such a whiny little beotch, thanks for ruining the franchise d-bag). When Indy shot the big Arab with the sword, f-yeah! When G. Washington sneaked across the Delaware on Christmas night to start his own rave party on some Hessian throats…F-Yeah! Good vs. Evil, doesn’t matter what galaxy or world you live in, it’s always here and always will be.

    I’m drinkin’ heavily tonight with some fine whiskey (on vacay now, thankfully)…just in case the Mayans may be right???? ;-)

  3. Robert B.

    “Cripes, Reuters, if you’re going to write an article with Star Wars references, find someone who knows the difference between a badass smuggler/pirate and a whiny little bitch.”

    Yeah, Wyatt. They should just go Sith off. ☺

  4. Ranba Ral

    I wonder what the old Mayan (they’re still around as an ethnicity, just not as an empire) elders who came out a few years ago going off on the calendar just restarts like every other calendar are thinking right now. They likened it to our millennial.

    Of course, we had the nutters going off on 2000 being the end of the world because the Millennial, then again in 2001 because they fail at calendar calculations and 2001 was the actual millennial

  5. Dr. Evil

    End of the Age of the Mayans? Fairly certain Hernan Cortes and European germs ensured that a couple hundred years ago.

    Hey, they just didn’t want it bad enough. If they did they woulda fought harder and had better immune systems. ammirightgawys?

  6. Bob G.

    Wyatt:
    Don’t pay it no nevermind…we all KNOW that the LAME-STREAM MEDIA are ALL Sith Lords…right?
    (The DEATH STAR wasn’t a SPACE station…it was a fully-operational BATTLE-station…for you purests)
    May the Farce Be With You out there…always.

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