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Marc Anthony: Super Puss-aah

By Wyatt Earp | September 18, 2011

The “singer” apparently lost his Man Card at a Miami concert the other night.

They say that a birthday is the time to look back on the last year and reflect. But Marc Anthony seemed to crack under the emotion, as he ended up weeping live on stage in Miami last night.

The Latino singer, who is undergoing a painful divorce from Jennifer Lopez, fell to his knees and cried when his fans sang him happy birthday. New Yorker Marc, who turned 43, soon composed himself, and gave a trademark blisteringly passionate performance for his fans.

Waaaaa! My fat-assed wife left me! Waaaaa! I’m single and good-looking! Waaaaa! I could swing a dead cat and hit ten supermodels who want to bang me! Douche.

Topics: Evil = Funny | 13 Comments »

13 Responses to “Marc Anthony: Super Puss-aah”

  1. Randal Graves Says:
    September 18th, 2011 at 11:44 pm

    Sooo Jennifer Lopez is fat and Christina “Once again I’m wearing an ass-chest at the Emmys” Hendricks isn’t?

  2. Wyatt Earp Says:
    September 18th, 2011 at 11:48 pm

    Randal – Yep.

  3. andycanuck Says:
    September 19th, 2011 at 1:04 am

    Maybe he needs a good stiff shot of Zafiro Añejo tequila?

  4. Fenway_Nation Says:
    September 19th, 2011 at 3:01 am

    Is this the same fat-assed wife that’s now schilling for Fiat? Wow, Fiat! I wasn’t considering purchasing your product until I saw the commercial w/JLo….

    On an unrelated note, Wyatt, you might want to get some duct tape handy for this one.

  5. Fenway_Nation Says:
    September 19th, 2011 at 3:02 am

    Hah, Andy! I hear one shot of Zafiro Añejo, and the last thing in the world you’ll be worrying about is your ex!

  6. Robert B. Says:
    September 19th, 2011 at 5:20 am

    Maybe he was in “that time of the month.” You know, when all guys get puffy and emotional.

    Riiiighhht!

  7. andycanuck Says:
    September 19th, 2011 at 9:17 am

    And never tick off a Chilean, Fenway_Nation!

  8. BlackOrchid Says:
    September 19th, 2011 at 9:23 am

    Manopause can be rough

  9. Metoo Says:
    September 19th, 2011 at 9:50 am

    Never understood the attraction to Marc Anthony. Seems to me to be a little twerp with an okay voice. He doesn’t even have the hot factor most Latino guys have. (ie: Jimmy Smits, Benjamin Bratt, Alex Gonzalez, Esai Morales) I go for less sniveling and more buck up buckaroo.

  10. Wyatt Earp Says:
    September 19th, 2011 at 7:01 pm

    Andy – He needs a good stiff punch in the groin. Then he can be forgiven for crying.

    Fenway – Hey, don’t blame me; she CELEBRATES her booty. And yeah, I saw that story on Twitter. (Facepalm)

    Robert – Maybe if his favorite football team lost. MAYBE.

    Orchid – I cry during the end of Rocky, but I’m from Philly – it’s acceptable.

    Metoo – The cheesy mustache/goatee combo isn’t doing him any favors, either.

  11. Richard McEnroe Says:
    September 19th, 2011 at 8:29 pm

    Fiat, the car God created to make SmartCars feel better about themselves…

  12. Wyatt Earp Says:
    September 19th, 2011 at 9:09 pm

    Richard – Did I fall asleep and wake up in 1972?

  13. andycanuck Says:
    September 19th, 2011 at 10:52 pm

    What do you call a Fiat on a hilltop? A surprise.
    What do you call two Fiats on a hilltop? A miracle.
    What do you call three Fiats on a hilltop? A funny place to put a Fiat factory.

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