Archive for June, 2011
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Friday, June 17th, 2011You have to hand it to those brilliant Iranian scientists. A mere 42 years after the United States put a man on the moon, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and his murderous cronies are planning to send a monkey into space. Yeah, these morons are on the cutting edge of space exploration. IRAN Iran plans to send a [...]
TV Pitchman Finally Gets His
Thursday, June 16th, 2011What does he get? Hopefully some serious jail time. A grand jury has indicted a Phoenix-based TV pitchman accused of running a nationwide scheme to sell essentially worthless Internet-based businesses to more than 200,000 people. Federal prosecutors say Donald Lapre is charged with 41 counts of conspiracy, mail fraud, wire fraud and promotional money laundering. [...]
Sean Murphy: Earl Of Shotgunnington
Thursday, June 16th, 2011Meet Sean Murphy of Doncaster, England. This handsome devil is a security guard by day and an expert marksman by night. Murphy is also beset by warts, most likely a result of kissing so many toads. Thankfully, his intellect helped solve his medical problem by using his unique talents. This guy thinks Compound W is [...]
British Hospitals Become Killjoys
Thursday, June 16th, 2011They’re cracking down on every man’s dream: sexy nurses. East and North Hertfordshire NHS Trust has issued a strict new uniform policy for all staff after a series of complaints from patients. Doctors and nurses face the threat of disciplinary action if they are caught wearing clothes which expose their ”midriff” or ”excessive cleavage”. The [...]
Overnight Thread
Thursday, June 16th, 2011Congratulations to the Boston Bruins – 2010-2011 Stanley Cup Champions!!! The Bruins beat the Vancouver Canucks, 4-0 in Game 7. Goaltender Tim Thomas (above) played out of his mind and was awarded the Conn Smythe Trophy for the MVP of the playoffs. He more than earned it. Congratulations also to the people of Boston and [...]
Hef’s Marriage Canceled
Wednesday, June 15th, 2011Get this: the 25-year old Playboy Playmate didn’t want to marry the 85-year old founder of the magazine. I know! I was shocked, too! Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris have called off their wedding. “The wedding is off,” Hefner, 85, tweeted Tuesday. “Crystal has had a change of heart.” After getting engaged on Christmas Eve [...]
Philly Woman Is America’s Dumbest
Wednesday, June 15th, 2011Meet Eley London. She is the pride and joy of my town, and we are all proud of her. Why? Because her stupidity makes the rest of us look like geniuses. See, Eley is a big fan of social media; so much so that she thought she could hire a hitman by posting an ad [...]
Rapist With Girl’s Name Meets Awesome Fate
Wednesday, June 15th, 2011They say God works in mysterious ways. Sometimes, he’s just bad-ass. Investigators said a man has died while in the act of raping an elderly South Texas woman The Refugio County Sheriff’s Office identified the man as 53-year-old Isabel Chavelo Gutierrez. Sheriff’s Sgt. Gary Wright said the incident happened June 2 after he rode two [...]
Humpday History Highlight
Wednesday, June 15th, 2011June 15, 1863 – President Lincoln Calls For Help Lee divided his army and sent the regiments toward the Shenandoah Valley, using the Blue Ridge Mountains as a screen. After the Confederates took Winchester, Virginia, they were situated on the Potomac River, seemingly in a position to move on Washington, D.C. Lincoln did not know [...]
Philly: The Rodney Dangerfield Of Cities
Tuesday, June 14th, 2011My town gets absolutely no respect, and for good reason; we’re possibly the must business-unfriendly city in America, if not the world. How bad is it? We can’t even entice Brad Pitt to film his zombie epic here. A film that is supposed to be set in Philadelphia! But hey Mayor Nutter, keep pushing that [...]
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