Archive for April, 2011
« Previous Entries Next Entries »Taking The Bull By The Horns
Thursday, April 21st, 2011This bull proudly shows off his donation money. Police in north-central Pennsylvania say they’ve solved the case of the missing bull semen. Authorities in Sweden Township say a package containing 1,770 units of the valuable agricultural product was reported missing from a residence where it was to be delivered on April 2. Police now tell [...]
Overnight Thread
Thursday, April 21st, 2011Since the economy is in the tank, many agencies are unveiling new plans to get people back to work. As usual, Florida’s plans are full of teh FAIL. It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s Unemployed Man! Florida officials are investigating an unemployment agency that spent public money to give 6,000 superhero capes to the [...]
Humpday History Highlight
Wednesday, April 20th, 2011April 19, 2011 – Skynet Launches Attack On Humanity According to the Terminator franchise, at 8:11 PM today (April 19th), the military-designed artificial intelligence system called Skynet will become self-aware and turn against its creators (read: us). If that doesn’t have you shaking in your boots…our world will be overwhelmed by a legion of killer [...]
CBS Hides Damaging Obama Audio
Wednesday, April 20th, 2011Last week, President Obama met with a group of top donors behind closed doors. During his speech, the president said some unflattering things about federal workers. CBS News released edited audio of his comments, where he blasted Paul Ryan’s budget plan. CBS is refusing to release the full, damaging audio. We observed that CBS only [...]
Playboy Turns Down Party Crasher
Wednesday, April 20th, 2011White House party crasher Michaele Salahi thinks her crap doesn’t stink. Luckily for the men in the world, Hugh Hefner thinks her naked photos do. Michaele Salahi may have been able to finagle her way into a White House State Dinner, but it seems that making her way into the pages of Playboy won’t be [...]
Overnight Thread
Wednesday, April 20th, 2011Tonight’s Overnight Thread is a police and fire edition. So if you’re one of my readers – or trolls – who hate one, the other, or both, break out your fangs! Like Camden, its southern neighbor, the Paterson, New Jersey Police Department is making a few layoffs. Like, um, twenty-five percent of its force. That [...]
The State Of Politics In Philly
Tuesday, April 19th, 2011Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter (aka Mayor Squidward) is up for re-election this November, and like every incumbent Democrat mayor, he will win in a landslide. This after sitting by while the schools turn into war zones, city services turn to crap, and fire stations close one after another. Not that it matters. This town has [...]
This Is How I Want To Go Out
Tuesday, April 19th, 2011Write this down. When I kick the bucket, I want to be displayed in the Robert L. Adams Drive-Thru Mortuary. The mortuary is in Compton; that bastion of gang-related murders. It’s a drive-thru to see the victims of the drive-by! At Robert L. Adams Mortuary in Compton, California, family members can have a dead relative [...]
Mischa Barton Lands Endorsement Deal
Tuesday, April 19th, 2011Although it’s probably not a deal she really wanted. Troubled actress Mischa Barton has been absent from both the big and small screen lately, but she was recently spotted in an unusual venue: She’s the face of a sex toy found in the “Western Amenities” section of a rural Chinese hotel. Stocked next to boxes [...]
Overnight Thread
Tuesday, April 19th, 2011If there is one thing I like, nay, require, is structure. I like the things they way they are, and I am very resistant to change. That’s why this first story bothers the hell out of me. An iconic comic book character should not be trifled with. The same holds true for his (or her) [...]
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