“I’m Not Angry, I’m From Philly?”

I have a pretty bizarre pet peeve that will probably irk some of you. I hate people who say that they’re “from Philly,” when they live in the suburbs or in New Jersey. My best man was like that. South Jersey born and bred, but told everyone he was from Philly. Shut up, dude; you’re from Jersey. You know nothing of my town.

Unless you were born, raised and/or currently live here, you’re not from Philly. You’re from somewhere else. Stake a claim to your own dysfunctional municipality, but don’t claim mine.

It takes a special kind of dope to live in this town and deal with the other jackasses. The jackasses who actually take pride in their white trash and/or rapper thug lifestyle. The jackasses who riot when a sports team wins a title. The jackasses who think being from Philly gives you license to be an arrogant, ignorant tool.

The jackasses who will rush out and buy this thing:

Mike Monteiro grew up in Olney and attended Holy Child on North Broad, Central, Temple’s Tyler School of Art. Then, as many creative types are wont to do, he fled West. In California, the Web designer noticed people are, well, different. They adopt a decidedly more placid approach to life in the Golden State. At the DMV, which can bring out the ornery in people and Philadelphians in particular, the San Francisco clerk inquired: “Why are you so angry?”

To which Monteiro answered, “I’m not angry, I’m from Philly.”

And with that, a slogan, a T-shirt and, dare I add, a cosmic world view and fundamental genius understanding of human behavior were born.

It is simply unbelievable how the people of this town celebrate their own douchebaggery. It’s not a badge of honor, you morons; it’s a scarlet letter.

23 thoughts on ““I’m Not Angry, I’m From Philly?”

  1. Robbie

    Whewwww….I was about to ask it if was ok that I was born and raised and moved to Jersey so my kids could live in the burbs and public school isn’t a mess….but I’m truly a Philadelphia, born and bred and proud. You can tell where I’m from the minute I open my big mouth and speak :-) Yo, Have a great Friday, my favorite gunslinger.

    Oh and hey, what was with the barage of motorcyle cops on 95 south this morning – really f’ed up my commute – but most of them were hotttttt ! So forgiven, really what was going on, my curiosity is killing me.

    P.S. That was my longest comment ever :)

  2. Dannytheman

    You know I hate the city!! So I was born in the Suburbs of Philly, and that’s what I say when asked!

    I only wish I could live further western suburbs.

  3. Joe Mama

    Can I add…
    The jackass who broke into my car, which had nothing of value visible, and only came away with 3 beers and a busted pocket knife.

  4. Loaded Dice in Vegas

    It’s the same thing with Chicago. People ask “where ‘ya from” and I say Chicago (born, raised and CPD) for 53+ years. When I ask them, Chicago must be the whole top of Illinois. Same thing with my buddy in Tn. I’ve started telling them (Rockford, Joliet and Aurora) they’re not Chicagoans; they wouldn’t last 5 minutes in the city. I’m gonna use the “I’m not angry…. and sub Chicago.”

  5. Jon Brooks

    When I have been asked where I am from I answer:
    From the city that is: “The mistake on the Lake, where we have a tower thats terminal and a lake that is quite erie…Cleveburg”. Yah I know its Cleveland, but it always felt like a ‘burg’ to me.

  6. Wyatt Earp Post author

    Robbie – You’re okay. I’ve read your blog; you HAVE to be from here. Not sure what was up with Highway today. I’ll see if I can find out when I get into work tonight.

    Danny – I am starting to wish that, too.

    Joe Mama – Total gain for the criminal? Bupkis.

    LDIV – I’m surprised anyone would admit they’re from Chi-Town.

    Jon – Former home of the Barons. That’ll stump them.

  7. Sebastian

    I’ve spent most of my life living about 5 miles from the city limits. The best place I ever lived was for a few years in Downingtown, 40 miles west of Philadelphia. I wonder if the distance is proportional to how nice a place it is to live.

  8. Sebastian

    As for the “from Philly” thing, it’s probably because the suburbs have no real identity other than being near the City, which is kind of sad, when you think about it. At least when I say I’m from Langhorne, people immediately belt out “Sesame Place!” Even as far as Virginia I’ve gotten that. So now I can say “I’m from Langhorne,” and people outside of the area have some idea where that is.

    Though given how well we teach Geography in schools these days, I might as well say I’m from Katmandu, and that gives people about as good an idea of where I live as they are probably going to get.

  9. Wyatt Earp Post author

    Sebastian – I think that’s exactly what it is. The further away from the stench of corruption, the better. And Langhorne is practically Shangri La compared to this burg.

  10. bob (either orr)

    Wouldn’t you appear angry to the rest of the world, given the fact that the last three mayors have been Fat Fast Eddie, Wrong Way Street, and Squidward? The mere thought of that makes me look angry.

  11. Bob G.

    Wyatt:
    I was born in Frankford Hospital, raised near Fkd & Venango, went to G.L. Horn school at Castor & Fkd., then moved up to the “great” Northeast (Mayfair/Wiss area) graduated, and stayed there until the mid 90s.

    I’m a Indiana “transplant” these days.
    (and it’s not all it’s cracked up to be thanks to diversity)

    So, I AM (truly)…”from Philly”…!!
    NOT the “burbs” or county.
    Hell, they should send me a shirt FOR FREE…

    And I’m proud to share MY Philly with YOUR Philly Wyatt…ANY day.
    Kapeesh?

    ;)

  12. Ferrell Gummitt

    Wyatt: A question. How come when Robbie comments on one of your posts you answer in a flash and everyone has to wait until you wake from your nap to get an answer?

    Examples: Robbie Comments @12:22 PM
    Wyatt Responds @12:23 PM

    Robbie Comments @12:25 PM
    Wyatt Responds @12:26 PM

    Just wondering…

  13. Wyatt Earp Post author

    Bob – Exactly. We have our reasons!

    Bob G. – YOUR Philly is probably better than mine. MY wounds are still fresh.

    Ferrell – Have you seen Robbie? She’s way hot! Duh!

    Mrs. Crankipants – That too.

  14. Sally Anne

    Growing up in California, we always knew someone from “back east” by their crappy, impatient attitude. And the farther I’ve moved from Cali, the crappier my own attitude has gotten. Maybe there’s something to be said for all that sunshine after all.

  15. RT

    I was born in Philly, does that count? ;) It was a pretty wild month: born ten weeks early at Methodist, transferred to Jefferson in a cop car, in a basket, turned blue, and then spent a month in an incubator.

    Eh, if I’m out of state, I tell people I’m from just outside Philly. If I just say I’m from Jersey, they mention the Devils and the Giants, and well…that makes me grrr.

    @Sally Anne: One of the only things I miss about Cali…people were nicer, but no one could figure out I was from the East Coast, unless I acted in a stereotypical way, which I did a couple of times, and one time the other person I was “communicating” with was from Jersey…then we laughed.

  16. Wyatt Earp Post author

    Sally Anne – You, my dear, are a ray of sunshine without a snarky bone in your . . . okay, I can’t write the rest with a straight face.

    RT – It counts, but saying you’re “just outside of Philly” covers you. If you lived in Deptford, for example, and said you were from Philly, that would be a violation.

  17. Barbara S

    I’ve been telling people for years and years that I’m from Philly, even though I live in the suburbs. It’s actually safer for people to say they live in Philly. “I’m from Philly” only means “I’m from that general area.” Sorry, don’t trust people these days.

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