Dumpster Diving: You’re Doing It Wrong
By Wyatt Earp | September 16, 2009
RT sent me this, and I have to admit, it’s a gem. Enjoy!
WICHITA — A man and woman decided to give the phrase “dumpster diving” a new twist over the weekend, crawling inside one on North Waco so they could be alone.
It all unfolded shortly after 6 p.m. Saturday in the 700 block of North Waco, police said, when the man and woman, both 44, crawled into a dumpster for privacy.
A short time later, a 59-year-old man and his 64-year-old companion interrupted the couple inside the dumpster.
With the older man encouraging him, the 59-year-old man pulled out a pocket knife and took shoes, jewelry and the 44-year-old man’s wallet. (H/T – Wichita Eagle)
There are so many things wrong with this story, that I can barely see straight. I’ll go through them, one by one:
1. How horny do you have to be to get your freak on in a dumpster. I mean, there are weirdos out there who like to “do it dirty,” but that’s a little too dirty, ya know?
2. How do two people who are a little older than I allow themselves to be robbed by a 64-year old and a 59-year old with a pocketknife? Even if you’re naked, there has to be something in the dumpster you can strike the guy with . . . like used toilet paper.
3. Even if the lovers were robbed, why would they report it? This isn’t your run-of-the-mill street holdup. They were having sex in a dumpster when they were robbed by senior citizens. Take the loss and keep your dignity, man!
Topics: Evil = Funny | 13 Comments »
Trashy, just plain trashy I tell you…
Layers of stupidity.
When the mood strikes….
I flew with a guy who was known to meet women at air shows and subsequently “hit it” in a porta john. There’s just something wrong about waiting in line to make a head call and then seeing your buddy emerge from the porta potty zipping up his flight suit with a woman following him out….
I normally opted for dinner and drinks and the comfort of a hotel room or rental car. But that’s just me.
RT said it all.
1. Stupid horny.
2. Stupid afraid.
3. Stupid stupid.
TexasFred – Nice one.
RT – And uncleanliness. The worst place I ever did it was in a pool. Oh, I’ve said too much.
Jason – Gotta be a mid-size so you get do it comfortably.
Mike47 – Big time stupid.
It’s a cheap date, and you may just score some appetizers as a bonus. If the dumpster’s a rockin’, don’t come a knockin’…
Somebody reads Fark.
Taking the term “sperm dumpster” way too literally…
I swear, most of us in Kansas are pretty normal. But I have no idea what they put in the water in Wichita.
Mrs. Crankipants – You sound like the voice of experience. Heh.
Kim – Fark me? Fark you!
B.C. – Nicely played, sir.
Standin’ John – Or what they put in the dumpsters. Someone needs a blacklight.
I am betting they still left with a little something more than they had before their dirty little tryst. There are so many gifts they could have received while doing the deed that keep on giving.
I never kiss and tell.
So was it a ce-ment pond or an inflatable kiddie pool?
Ma’ Home Town! Couldn’t be prouder (to no live there any more) Just Sunday I drove past Murdock and Waco and I’ll bet I was within yards of that dumpster. Lets see, the front seat of a Renault Dauphene is about a swierd as it got for me. MUD