Archive for January, 2009
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Wednesday, January 21st, 2009Apparently, it is another “first” for Obama, but probably not one that he (or anyone else, for that matter) would be very proud of. At least he managed to attend the Youth Inaugural Ball. Kanye West and Kid Rock were there! According to TSO who was at the “Salute to Heroes Inaugural Ball”, this newly [...]
Lance Armstrong: Back In Black (And Gold)
Wednesday, January 21st, 2009He’s back, baby! And apparently, Lance is none the worse for wear. This is definitely the best news I have read in three years. ADELAIDE, Australia – Two days into his first professional cycling race in three years and after a hard day at the Tour Down Under, Lance Armstrong said Wednesday he was having [...]
Cardinals Fans Vandalize McNabb’s Lawn
Wednesday, January 21st, 2009Code Monkey sent me this story in an e-mail entitled, “Easy One.” She’s right, because this idiocy just snarks for itself. The Cardinals fans who left diesel fuel messages in the lawn of Donovan McNabb’s Chandler home also left something else – a box with a postage sticker that listed the suspect’s name and address. [...]
Alyssa Milano Granted A Restraining Order
Wednesday, January 21st, 2009Dammit, Alyssa, I said I just wanted to smell your shoes! Heh. LOS ANGELES – Alyssa Milano has received a restraining order against a man she says has repeatedly tried to contact her and showed up at her home unannounced. Records show a judge in Ventura County granted Milano a three-year restraining order on Dec. [...]
Jaws Of Life Stolen From AL Fire Station
Wednesday, January 21st, 2009Okay, this is funny. What kind of slack-jawed yokel would steal the jaws of life? Was that moonshine jar really that difficult to open? HIGHLAND HOME, Ala. – Highland Home’s volunteer firefighters are trying to figure out why anyone would want to steal the “jaws of life.” The $12,000 equipment, which is used to rescue [...]
Michigan Postal Worker Hoards Mail
Tuesday, January 20th, 2009Helllooo, Newman! In fairness, does anyone really want snail mail delivered every day? As far as I am concerned, my mail carrier has the expressed written consent to hoard my bills for as long as he deems necessary. DETROIT — There were jokes and snickers at a Michigan post office when customers learned that an [...]
Star-Bucking For A Promotion
Tuesday, January 20th, 2009RT sent me this article, because she knows that I am a huge Battlestar Galactica fan. She was right to do it, because it’s a scream. Apparently, the original Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica is all bent that the new series – and his female replacement – are one thousand times more popular than he and [...]
Flight Attendant Sues Over Sexy Dress
Tuesday, January 20th, 2009Apparently, this broad wanted to board the plane looking like a bag lady. Sex yourself up, woman! That’s what being a flight atttendant is all about! PITTSBURGH – A 37-year-old female flight attendant is suing JetBlue Airways and Delta Airlines, saying a male employee denied her a work-related flight because she wasn’t dressed provocatively enough. [...]
Sundance Turning Into D-List Paradise
Tuesday, January 20th, 2009Good. It’s about time this French-infested liberal hippie moviefest got its comeuppance. I mean when 200-year old Linda Freakin’ Hogan (left) is causing a “stir,” you know Sundance is not the place to be. Although, I think Jerry Lewis is still a headliner there. Has the Sundance Film Festival lost its prestige? Is it the [...]
Deputies Recover $1 Million During Car Stop
Tuesday, January 20th, 2009Okay, I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that drugs are somehow involved in this incident. Well, either this guy is a drug dealer or he is Bernard Madoff’s accountant. LAWRENCEVILLE, Ga. – Gwinnett County deputies found more than $1 million in cash in a car they had stopped for a [...]
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