Archive for January, 2009
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Friday, January 23rd, 2009Darth Earnhardt Caption Contest (Source: Break.com) Submit your caption to this photo in the comments section, or e-mail me your photoshop entries. The winners will be announced on Monday January 26th. Good luck! Other Current Contests: Blonde Sagacity Cowboy Blob Family Security Matters Gone Rick Motel Right Pundits Rodney Dill RT Top Seven Entries: 7. [...]
The Pittsburgh Penguins’ Newest Star
Friday, January 23rd, 2009I know stories like these are common in sports, but I see them much more often in the NHL than in the other major sports. Of course, I am biased in favor of hockey, but what can I say? This is a terrific story. In the seat where Evgeni Malkin signed his contract with the [...]
Delaware Woman Practices “Safe Theft”
Friday, January 23rd, 2009This may be a funnier story than the assault-by-stripper, if that’s possible. I’ll leave that judgment to you. Either way, I have to ask: What the Hell is going on in Delaware? A 12-count box of Trojans will run you about $12. And not wearing a condom could cost you a whole lot more. But, [...]
Man Sues After Strip Club Injury
Friday, January 23rd, 2009I wonder if the stripper looked like Jessica Alba? What??? AKRON, Ohio — A northeast Ohio man who was smacked in the nose by a stripper’s platform-style shoe is suing a nightclub for $25,000 over injuries he says will require surgery. Yusuf Evans says in a lawsuit filed Tuesday that he was seated near the [...]
Congratulations, Dr. Mengele – It’s Twins!
Friday, January 23rd, 2009Suddenly, I have a hankering for some Doublemint Gum! [Josef Mengele], the steely hearted “Angel of Death”, whose mission was to create a master race fit for the Third Reich, was the resident medic at Auschwitz from May 1943 until his flight in the face of the Red Army advance in January 1945. His task [...]
The Greatest Piece Of Obama-bilia Ever!
Thursday, January 22nd, 2009Right Wing Prof sent me this, and I am still laughing out loud. This is just the thing to show off my civic pride! From the site: These exciting times of change deserve to be commemorated with an equally exciting commemorative plate collection. Introducing the President Barack Obama Inaugural Commemorative Paper Plate!! What makes this [...]
True Detective Stories
Thursday, January 22nd, 2009The problem with wanting to write a book about my experiences as a big city detective is that no one would ever publish it as non-fiction. Why? Because no one in their right mind would think these stories are true. Unfortunately for me, this one is 100% accurate. This morning the phone at my desk [...]
Jacques Chirac Mauled By Depressed Poodle
Thursday, January 22nd, 2009Oh yeah, those poodles are heart breakers and life takers, eh, Jacques? And who the frak determines when a poodle is “clinically depressed,” anyway? “Mr. president, your poodle is not eating, rarely sleeping, doesn’t clean himself, and has tried to hang himself three times. I think it is time that he enter expensive, far-reaching therapy.” [...]
Eva Mendes: Most Desirable Woman Of 2009
Thursday, January 22nd, 2009Yeah, you won’t hear much argument from me, although I think Anne Hathaway should be listed higher than number five. Although she began 2008 at the Cirque Lodge rehab facility in Utah, Eva Mendes emerged to have a solid year. Her films included “The Women” and Frank Miller’s “The Spirit,” and as the new face [...]
Humpday History Highlight
Wednesday, January 21st, 2009January 21, 1977 – Jimmy Carter Pardons Draft Dodgers. William Jefferson Clinton thanks you. On this day in 1977, President Jimmy Carter pardons all Vietnam War draft dodgers. During his presidential campaign, Carter had announced his intention to pardon those who had failed to register for the draft or left the country to avoid service. [...]
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