Kill The Zombies, Then Save The Ozone?
By Wyatt Earp | November 20, 2008
There are too few guilty pleasures in my life anymore. Since I am now a “responsible father” of 3.7 kids, I can’t do a lot of the things I used to do when I was a single guy. Apparently, the wife thinks that raping and pillaging the countryside is not the sort of example I should be setting for the children. So, when I heard that my precious, precious PlayStation 3 is killing the planet, I decided to take a defiant stand.
Yeah, that’s right: your video game system sucks energy like Paris Hilton sucks . . . antibiotics. Heh. Luckily for Mother Earth, Yahoo’s “Environmental Journalist” – can you imagine? – is on the case:
Video game consoles consume a “staggeringly high” amount of energy, according to a report the Natural Resources Defense Council is releasing on Wednesday. How much electricity do they use each year? About as much as it takes to power the city of San Diego.
There’s plenty of room for improvement. We can cut our nation’s electricity bill by more than $1 billion and avoid 7 million tons of carbon dioxide emissions each year, according to the report.
How much can you personally save? Depends on what brand you choose. The Sony Playstation 3 and Microsofts Xbox 360 use as much as nine times more energy than the Nintendo Wii.
That’s great, but have you tired to find a Nintendo Wii? It’s more difficult than finding the G-Spot!
* Sony Playstation 3 is the most power-hungry model. For the 2007 version, you’ll spend about $12 a year if you turn the console off when you’re not using it, compared to about $134 if you leave it on all the time.
* Microsoft Xbox 360 ranks a close second. If you shut it down when you’re not playing a game or watching a movie, it costs about $11 to operate annually. Leaving it on continuously will cost you $103.
* Nintendo Wii uses significantly less energy than the others. It costs about $3 a year if you turn it off after use, compared to about $10 if you don’t. (H/T – Yahoo!)
I cannot speak for the other gamers out there, but when I am done smiting Jedi in Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, I turn off my PS3. At least, I used to. After reading this tripe, I am pretty sure I am going to modify my gaming habits. Here is what I intend to do from now on:
1. Leave the PS3 on 24 hours, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
2. Celebrate victories with 5-minute long aerosol sprays.
3. Play games while sitting on my baby seal rug.
4. Buy a gas/kerosene heater for the basement.
5. Snack on Condor eggs while gaming.
Take that, you lousy hippies!
Topics: Snarkasm | 10 Comments »
November 20th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
I’m going upstairs to throw another log on the fire and increase my carbon footprint!
November 20th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
I am sending my ER bill to you. I think I broke something when I fell off my chair laughing. The “G” spot statement… ROTFL!!!!
November 20th, 2008 at 10:50 pm
You have a baby seal skin rug? I am so jealous.
November 20th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
Oh for God’s sake, now that they’ve harassed smokers to death they’re going to start on gamers??
November 20th, 2008 at 11:27 pm
Captain – While you’re at it, throw a kitten on the fire, too. Muwahahahahahahaha!!!
Deanna – Always here to help, ma’am!
Momster – Clubbed it myself!
DL474 – I don’t smoke, but I “game.” Frak them, I’ll do what I want!
November 21st, 2008 at 3:05 am
I have the TV Wii and the PS3 on one of those switch-off-able power strips, under the cabinet (I’m too short to reach the back of the consoles). The Army pays the bills here (except the exorbitant phone/internet one, ouch) and really, I will start being more conscientious now. Fewer pennies for the ungrateful local economy. Rat bastards.
November 21st, 2008 at 9:07 am
Well that cuts it. In order to save the planet I guess that
“OneInAMinion” in COD4 as well as BulletMagnet in BF2142 and BulletMagnet999 in BF2 will have to be retired:( Its been good killin’ ya, fellow gamers, but we must live in darkness now and…HEY!!…HEY!!… STOP THAT!! I saw ya try to sneak that thermostat up!! Whose car is that idling in the driveway??? Better watch out obambi’s CDF (civilian defense force) is watching.
November 21st, 2008 at 9:17 am
As a videogame developer, this story cracks me up… especially since most of my colleagues are greenie Obamatons.
I am going to instruct my team to leave their dev consoles running over the weekend. You think a consumer PS3 runs hot and loud? You ought to see the PS3 dev kit… we need to run the AC in winter because of those things.
November 21st, 2008 at 10:27 am
Pretend you’re a celebrity; do whatever you want then buy “carbon credits” to ease your guilty feelings.
November 21st, 2008 at 9:44 pm
Dorkelina – But I thought you were so excited to live in Italy. Bawahahahahahahahaha!
Jon – Next thing you know, we’ll have to turn our heat off in the winter to save the poor asthmatic squirrels!
GJG – Awesome! Can you videotape it for us?
Doghouse – I would, but I’m waiting for my government bailout.