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A Death In The Family

By Wyatt Earp | October 6, 2008

Don’t ever let anyone ever say that I won’t embarrass myself for your entertainment.

Today we’re mourning thousands of my little friends. They were good sperm. They were happy sperm. They did their jobs well, and performed their assignments brilliantly four times. The world is worse off without them.

Well, I received my results from my first post-vasectomy sample. Prognosis: Negative! My sperm count for the sample was zero: there were no survivors. Of course, I am not completely free and clear until three samples come back negative, so I should know for sure in a month or so.

Until then, consider me less of a man . . . if that’s possible.

Topics: All About Wyatt | 12 Comments »

12 Responses to “A Death In The Family”

  1. AJ Lynch says:

    Don’t mourn. They did their job while they could – you are gonna have 4 nice kids!

  2. (Sung in a Monty Python style:)

    “Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great;
    When a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.”

    BZ

  3. USA_Admiral says:

    Should it be, Many deaths in the family?

    Congrats. Now the fun begins.

  4. Old NFO says:

    Now you can ‘practice’ all you want :-)

  5. becky says:

    Nah… Just shooting blanks…

  6. RT says:

    Can we have a wake?

  7. TrekMedic251 says:

    So, I was watching “Californication” on Showtime the other night. David Duchovny’s character had the “Big Snip” in that episode and then had to endure crossing paths with just about every women he’s bedded while in LA. I was thinking about you the whole time,…

  8. Wyatt Earp says:

    AJ – Yeah, but now I won’t be able to populte the Earth!

    BZ – I was gonna post that clip from YouTube for this post.

    Admiral – Many, many deaths.

    Old NFO – Practice makes perfect!

    Becky – Step away from the blogger and no one gets hurt!

    RT – Maybe a mock funeral, too?

    Trek – It’s the same thing, except I’m not good-looking and haven’t bedded many beautiful California ladies.

  9. Kim says:

    I guess I can put away the band castrator now since it is not needed. :p

  10. Nosmo says:

    They are still alive, just in maximum security with no hope of parole!
    No great escape when the tunnels are plugged.

  11. Wyatt Earp says:

    Kim – Yeah, but I’m not sure that would have been more painful. The vasectomy was not a fun ride.

    Nosmo – Thank you, Steve McQueen! :)

  12. Deathlok says:

    Fuck em!! Ya see. . . .’cause their sperm. . . . and they come out. . . . like. . .when your having sex. . . . .