An Angry, Bile-Fueled Rant
By Wyatt Earp | August 27, 2008
Editor’s Note: I’m pissed. I am about to rant about my job. It will not be pretty, and there may be some sentence enhancers. Don’t like it? Too frakkin’ bad.
There is a piece of shit/waste of oxygen/disgrace to the badge who works in a police district that my division covers. He is universally considered a piece of garbage by every detective in my building. Why? Because every time he brings up a job, it involves at least one – but mostly a few – of these scenarios.
1. He lies. (Either about his jobs, or about what he has done in his job.)
2. He heavily exaggerates the significance of his part in the job.
3. He “hangs out” in the division to make more overtime.
This is a piece of garbage who used his own wife to set up a “sting” to try and find the man who stole her cell phone. Apparently, a $100 cell phone was worth risking his wife’s safety – since he did this while off-duty and without backup.
Anyway, last night, he called the division near the end of our shift and said the following:
“Yeah, this is Officer XXXXX, and I have a job out here. I was involved in a foot pursuit with a man who fired gunshots out here. There are five shell casings on the ground. Do you want me to hold the scene, or should I just pick up the casings and bring up the job?”
I asked, “Is there any scene out there? Is anyone hit, is there any blood, or is there any property damage out there?”
Officer A-Hole replied, “No, just the casings. I can just scoop them up and bring them in.”
Sounded good to me. “Okay, bring it in.”
Since it was almost shift change – and there were no victims – this was a no-brainer. Officer A-Hole was on location, and he knew if there was a scene or not better than I.
And then it hit me: He never knows better than anyone, because he is a lying piece of shit.
I pack up my things to leave for the night, go to my car, and head for home. A few minutes into my drive, I get a call from my sergeant. He says that Officer A-Hole came to the division and suddenly “remembered” that the man he was chasing turned to his partner and fired off five rounds at her!
Naturally, my sergeant asked me if he told me this on the phone, and I angrily replied, “Absolutely not!! If he did, I never would have told him to bring in the casings!!!” The sergeant knows me pretty well and agreed that I would never be that stupid. At least, not at work. He told me that Officer A-Hole’s sergeant was in the building and they would discuss the case before getting back to me.
Now, I’m really fucking pissed off. First of all, this jitbag is trying to get me jammed up with my lieutenant, captain, and Lord knows who else with his bullshit. Second, since he never notified police radio that he and his partner were fired upon – in between screaming like a little bitch during his foot pursuit – why would he say that he told me they were fired upon? And finally, anyone who knows this prick knows that he always exaggerates his jobs and his “heroics” while handling them. Of course he would say his partner was fired upon after the fact. By the time he got to the division, he was calm, and had plenty of time to create another lie.
So, while dealing with another brain aneurysm on the way home, my co-workers started calling me – knowing that I would be livid at this point. Apparently, Officer A-Hole and his sergeant were arguing inside the division about the job, and his sudden “remembrance” of things past. It was obvious that he not only didn’t tell me that he was fired upon, but he also didn’t tell the street sergeant.
Not that he would let facts get in the way of a good story. The last thing I heard was that Officer A-Hole was still swearing that he told me he and his partner were fired upon, and – for some insane reason – I said, “Oh, don’t hold the scene. Just bring everything up.” Like I would jeopardize an important case like that for shits and giggles. Frak you! If that were the case, Officer A-Hole would have never volunteered to bring up the casings on his own.
I don’t know how this story will end, as I have today and tomorrow off, but this I vow: Officer A-Hole and I are gonna dance real soon. I am going to be his personal detective, and take on every job he brings to the division. So help me – and him – if he does one thing that is not completely kosher, I’m gonna burn him down. The next time he violates someone’s civil rights, or “exaggerates” an arrest, I’m shouting it to the rooftops. His supervisors, Internal Affairs, the media: you name it. You fuck up, and I am going to make it my mission in life to ruin you.
I hope Officer A-Hole is familiar with Pulp Fiction, because from now on, I am Marsellus Wallace to him.
You hear me talkin’, hillbilly boy? I ain’t through with you by a damn sight!
/Rant.
Topics: The Job | 15 Comments »
August 27th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
So how’s work??
snark
August 27th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
This jerk needs to be taken down ASAP.
August 27th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Captain America – Filled with idiots. By the way, your comment was SYLG’s #10,000th! You don’t win anything, but I thought I’d mention it. Heh.
FD – He’ll take himself down soon enough. Someone he locks up will hire a lawyer and sue him – and the city – for false arrest.
August 27th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Oh the assholes will get theirs eventually. Years ago, one of my supervisors did her best to get me fired. But it didn’t work. After I transferred to another department, she needed a new whipping boy, so tried to push one of the faculty around. This man turned out to be an ex-Marine and on the board of regents. Her ass got tossed and good riddance.
August 27th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Damn Wyatt you could use another vacation. Calm down buddy – your blood pressure will thank you. Just do your job and take care of the family.
August 27th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
So, other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?
August 27th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Any shots fired would have required IMMEDIATE vertical notification directly up the food chain on my department, and a notification to a Detective would NOT have been in the chain. It would have started with Comm and then progressed to the Watch Commander, Division Commander and so on. The place would have been papered with cops and the decision would not have been mine to make — no matter whose shots they were. Anyone this cavalier has something to hide.
BZ
August 27th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Nail this dick cheese before he does some real damage.
August 27th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Ewwww….dick cheese? YUK!
He’ll get his. The true a-holes always do.
August 27th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Ky person – This tool is infamous in our division and in his district. he has as much credibility as Dan Rather, so I’m not too worried.
AJ – Let me worry about me, slappy.
Mike47 – The actors performed “admirably.”
BZ – In Philly – at least in my division – he should have notified:
1. Police radio that he was shot at.
2. His immediate supervisor.
3. The detective division.
He did only one of the three, and never mentioned he was shot at. Wouldn’t that be an important item to omit?
Admiral – Guys this stupid in the PPD don’t get fired. They usually get promoted.
RT – Maybe. I won’t hold my breath, but I (and my co-workers) will scrutinize every job he brings up anymore.
August 27th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
How is it possible for this POS to still have a job?
August 27th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
Just remember karma really does work and it will come back and bite him in the butt.
August 28th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Don’t be shy, tell us how you really feel.
I’ve never served in law enforcement in any capacity, but I have seen a few episodes of CSI Miami, and thus consider myself immenently qualified to comment on such matters.
My 2 cents is that there never was a foot pursuit, and no shots fired when him and his partner were anywhere near there. My guess is, if your description of his past behavior is accurate, is that he went to the local gun range, scooped up a few shells and stored them in his patrol car in order to liven up an otherwise non-eventfull evening.
Maybe you could gain access to his vehicle and see if he has any other handy “evidence” on hand to create or enhance his next call back to the station.
Just a thought.
August 28th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Sully – Because the PPD hires idiots. Me included. Heh.
Momster – I sincerely doubt it. Karma does not apply in my department.
Kaveman – Nothing this toad does will go unchecked from now on. It’s only a matter of time until he fraks up, and we won’t be there to bail him out when he does.
August 29th, 2008 at 11:57 am
Recording phone / radio calls would have helped in this case. Even as the technology gets ever cheaper, the PPD will get it last.
Hope you can remain cool while you deal with this loser.