911 Call: “Slot Machine Stole My Money”
By Wyatt Earp | August 5, 2008
This is an actual story of an actual incident.
After reading it, I can say this without hyperbole: this man is the dumbest person on the face of the earth. In a perfect world, he would be dragged out into the town square, thrown into a bad with a rabid animal, and the bag would be thrown into the river.
TAMPA – When Carlos Jose Gutierrez lost money in a slot machine at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino early this morning, deputies say he didn’t just walk away.
He called 911. To report that a slot machine stole his money.
According to an affidavit: Shortly after midnight, Gutierrez was told by dispatchers that the slot machine did not steal his money and that it was a crime to call 911 to report that it did.
After acknowledging that his call to 911 was wrong, Gutierrez left the casino and walked across the street.
Then he called 911 again to report that a slot machine stole his money. (H/T – TBO)
I guess I can start getting arrest warrants for “one-armed bandits” now? Sweet! At least they can’t flee the jurisdiction.
Topics: The Job | 11 Comments »
August 5th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
In a related story, my husband celebrated his biggest payoff of the night at a Niagara Falls casino when he put American money into a Canadian change machine.
(except my husband “got” that putting money into the change machine wasn’t really gambling, per se.)
August 5th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
Trixie – Thank you, she’ll be here all week. Try the veal!
August 5th, 2008 at 9:42 pm
Is this thing on?
August 5th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Those machines didn’t steal his money. He GAVE them his money. Either way… he needed to call a cab not 911.
August 5th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
You were #1 in the Caption contest!
August 5th, 2008 at 11:40 pm
Next thing you’ll see is some jackass who calls 911 because he doesn’t get enough sauce on his Subway Hoagie…ummmm
August 5th, 2008 at 11:44 pm
Trixie – Ba-dump-bump!
Deanna – Agreed on both counts.
Trek – Whoo hoo! Sweet pity, where would my love life be without it?
Randal – I saw that story, but it was from the AP, and they’re persona non grata here.
August 5th, 2008 at 11:59 pm
I’m really beginning to wonder about the gene-pool in this country. Pretty freakin’ scary.
August 6th, 2008 at 5:11 am
Another Flori-Duh idiot. I just love watching the idiots breed down here.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
RT – Pretty shallow, and there is no lifeguard on duty.
Admiral – It explains the “hanging chad” controversy with every passing story.
August 7th, 2008 at 11:26 am
[...] from Wyatt, we have this idiot: TAMPA – When Carlos Jose Gutierrez lost money in a slot machine at the Hard [...]