Marriage: The Other White Meat
By Wyatt Earp | July 27, 2008
Believe me, being black is not the reason Beetlejuice (left) is still single.
As part of CNN’s epic investigational series “Black in America” – I wonder if I can run a “White in America” series here at SYLG? – Dionne Hill, a CNN employee, explains why many blacks think that “marriage is for white people.”
I wanted to comment on this story earlier this week, but I was choking on my own rage.
I am a statistic.
And there are millions more like me. Forty-five percent of black women in America have never been married, compared with 23 percent of white women, according to the U.S. Census Bureau’s American Community Survey in 2006. Articles like the one published in the Washington Post two years ago could lead me to believe that it’s because “Marriage is for White People.”
Maybe it’s just me, but I think that is a tremendously racist statement. What if I wrote something to the effect of “Abandoning your kids is for black people?” Do you think that would get me more than a few angry e-mails?
The numbers, undeniably, are not in my favor. But they have never been. Born black, raised in a single-parent home and primarily educated in low-performing public schools, I am not supposed to be a success story. But giving weight to statistics in my personal life only contributes to a culture of fear surrounding marriage.
And yet, this woman overcame Whitey’s oppression to become a producer for one of the world’s leading news organizations? Interesting. Maybe Whitey wasn’t the problem, after all?
This fear causes some women to make hasty decisions like staying in unfulfilling relationships that lead to unsuccessful marriages, which end in divorce (another dismal statistic). Or just the opposite: Women become so fearful of making the wrong choice, they find themselves surrounded by a moat with no bridge to their final destination: marriage. (H/T – CNN)
And who’s fault is that? Is it Whitey’s? I love it when media people paint an entire race with one brush. Believe it or not Ms. Hill, there are many white women who don’t marry until later in life, too. I wonder why there is not a special CNN series for them?
Oh, that’s right. It’s because 200 years ago, some white people were slave owners and far too many black people were slaves. I tell ya, we really have to look into outlawing slavery sometime soon.
Topics: Snarkasm | 7 Comments »
July 27th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
You know that huge “chip on the shoulder” is a huge turn on when looking for a wife/girlfriend.
For some it is a constant fashion accessory that they never leave home without…. no matter their skin color.
July 27th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
My best friend is an intelligent, witty, and educated African-American. She got married last year at the age of 38. I never heard her state the complaints that many African-American females in her position voice. She dated some duds (as with any race) and she finally met “the one”.
I don’t think it is a race issue. However, I think that otherwise lovely individuals place themselves among men who are not doing things to better themselves and/or exhibiting a personality that exhibits respect for females, you are going to have a lot of dissatisfied and cynical women.
Meaning: If you don’t leave the detracting elements in your past, you will not move on to better things.
July 27th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Deanna – Lord knows I was looking for that special someone with lots of ‘tude.
RT – Of course, it also doesn’t help when good women try to get with thugs in order to “change them.” News flash, ladies: you can’t change us, so don’t try. The missus knew I was a sarcastic bastard when she married me.
July 27th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Most of the problems in black society can be traced to the collapse of the family unit. If Ms. Hill wants to blame something for black women’s aversion to marriage, maybe she can point to the creation of the welfare state that not only condoned, but encouraged out-of-wedlock births and made it ok for men to father children then feel no obligation to them. She acknowledges the issue, then dances around the cause, claiming no responsibility for the trend for her own race.
She can blame whitey as far as I’m concerned; as long as she blames the limosine liberal whiteys who–for fear of being labeled “judgmental”–marched lockstep with the race-baiting Jacksons and Sharptons and made the dissolution of the black family unit socially acceptable, and therefore the rule instead of the exception.
July 27th, 2008 at 11:52 pm
Trixie – I can’t add anything to that. Good show!
July 28th, 2008 at 6:20 am
As I remember, back in the early 60s, the nuclear family was the norm in the Black community. Their schools may have been segregated, but they were staffed by dedicated teachers who pushed their students to succeed. The idea that the thug and the ho would be considered role models would have horrified them.
Post Civil Rights Movement, I think the Black community was poised on the brink of success – big success.
Then came LBJ, the Great Society, the War on Poverty and welfare. It tore the family apart. Men weren’t husbands, they were Baby Daddies, women were Baby Mamas and children were sources of money. Cultural relativism won’t allow us to condemn such behavior in public since that would be insensitive.
The Great Society was a social experiment that failed miserably and its repercussions are going to be with us for a LONG time.
July 28th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
Ky person – You are absolutely correct. And it will be like this until the community wakes up and realizes that they have no one to blame for these issues but themselves. I won’t hold my breath for that realization to arrive.