Bubba-licious Addresses The Nation

By Wyatt Earp | June 28, 2008

Earlier this week, former President/Professional Groper Bill Clinton threw his support to Barack Obama. His wife, the Hill-dabeast soon followed suit, and the country grasped hands, stood in a circle, and sung the theme song from Barney.

Is anyone else confused?

This debacle was the perfect topic for this week’s article for Family Security Matters.

Good morning, my fellow Americans! This is your once and future king, former President William Jefferson Clinton. I will now pause to breathe in your cheers, adulation, and perfume. (Mmm, that’s nice.Is that Chanel?) It is my great pleasure to be speaking to you today about the man who will lead this country to greatness: Barack Hussein Obama.

Oh, I am being told that we cannot refer to Sen. Obama by his middle name. We better edit that out. What? This speech is going on live? Oh. Anyway, earlier this week I had one of my lackeys throw my support to Sen. Obama. Here is what he said:

“President Clinton is obviously committed to doing whatever he can, and is asked to do to ensure Senator Obama is the next president of the United States,” Clinton spokesman Matt McKenna said.

That’s pretty eloquent, don’t you think? I only wish I had written the words. The announcement has been the source of great confusion amongst you, my loyal Clintonians, since I so thoroughly trashed Obama during the Democrat primary. As such, I felt it necessary to explain myself.

Nice tease, huh? You can read the rest of the jocularity HERE.

Topics: FSM | 6 Comments »